Unexpected
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: Companion to Enemies.    Chapter XIV: The end.
1. Default Chapter

Unexpected Lovers

* * *

_Ever get hit out of left field, by the one thing you never anticipated?_

_Ever find out that you really didn't care, given what happened?_

_Welcome to my life._

_My life was pretty predictable. Work for Dr. D, get into fights with Kim, get sent to jail, break out, rinse and repeat. _

_In between, I got to spend time at resorts, sunbathing. _

_Then that triple damned Moodulator event. Yeah, I focused on Drakken…but he really honestly wasn't interested in _me_. Don't know who he's interested in, but it isn't me. And as for myself… I just kinda focused on the first thing that came to mind. _

_After that, everything went back to normal. Except for that gnawing pit at the bottom of my stomach. The aloneness._

_Yeah, I know. Shego worrying about being alone. I have money, and fame (well infame), and super powers… By myself. _

_At home, I was always the unwanted daughter. Dad and mom loved boys…but I was the babysitter, the one held up as what not to do, especially next to Hego. They didn't bother to come to my school shows… not important. Anyway, half the time I got yanked out of them to babysit the twins. No matter what I did, No matter **what** I did…it wasn't enough._

_Then the comet hit and it was time to "dedicate my life to service." As if I hadn't been doing that before. As if I was given a choice. _

_Well, I did have a choice. I left. If I was going to be alone, I'd do so on my own terms…. And for a while, it wasn't so bad. _

_Damned Moodulator. _

_Then HE came walking through the door. Yeah. The Buffoon. Him. The joke._

_But see…that's what I first noticed about him. It was hard to make him look silly…because he didn't buy into that game. He didn't demand to be center stage. He was willing to play the rodeo clown to Kim's cowboy, and I surely wondered why she never went with him. (well, later, I found out why. Who knew?)_

_I wonder what would have happened if one of my brothers had been Ron Stoppable?_

_Of course I wasn't going to tell him. Open up, let that news out into the world? Let Kim Possible hear it, and giggle about it to her little friends. No way. No way in hell. _

_Until God decided to lend a hand. I spend my birthday's alone—Drakken tries to remember, but honestly, his last attempt involved a robotic cake maker and the less said about **that** the better. _

_So here I am, drinking, half drunk (the comet power keeps me from getting a hangover…not drunk), and Ron comes in on a dare. Problem is, he's his typical self, which is something I don't want to see, and then the SOB makes a toast, to Family._

_Thanks God. Thanks a lot. So I grab him and take him out into the back alley, ready to pummel him, except that that stupid comment brought back all the memories, and its' hard to pummel someone when you have snot in your nose and you can barely see. _

_That's when he blinks and asks me if I'm ok…as I'm about to blow him through a wall. All I can say, is 'Do I look like it?' and then there go the waterworks. _

_I know the bartender called the cops, but somehow Ron managed to convince them that I'd left and the next thing I know I'm at a diner, with more coffee than I ever want to see again getting poured down my throat. _

_So he asks what's wrong, and for some reason beyond sanity, I tell him. He's a 17 year old kid with a 25 year old mercenary and I'm telling him my tragic life. And he isn't laughing. I finish my little chat and then I warn him about death and destruction if this ends up on Kim's website. He swears on the Holy Naco, and I leave. _

_So, we go back to normal… kind of. Drakken pulls off his stupid stunts, Kim stops him, I fight Kim…but somehow, I start bumping into Ron at the oddest places. I'd think he was tracking me, except sometimes he's surprised to see me. We talk…we eat… and suddenly I'm talking to him more than I have anyone since…well ever. _

_Then the day hits when Monkeyfist manages to tag both him and Kim…real bad. In the hospital bad. _

_I disguise myself as a nurse and sneak in and there he is. Laying in bed, with more tubes than I want to think about going in and out of him. He's barely conscious and yet he's asking after Kim…and making jokes. _

_Then MF comes after them both, and now I find out that if stupid is love, I'm in love with the goof, because I blow my cover, rep and future job prospects when I hand MF his head. _

_And then, I'm in jail. Shows you what good deeds get you._

_To be continued._


	2. Chapter II

_Have you ever been in Hell? Not hell, like "I've lost my keys and it's raining." No, Hell, capital H, as in, I'm damned. _

_I was. That doubled damned mind control chip of Drakken's it turned out that the GJ folks were working on it, and they'd developed an internal, implanted version. I was in jail, smelled a funny odor passed out. _

_And woke up in Hell. _

_See, the chip doesn't do anything to your mind—you can hate someone, and **still** hate them, even as you smile and nod at them. It wsan't so bad with Drakken because I figured I'd get out from under it… I mean, how hard could it be to get a chip off? _

_But now, it was **inside **me. I was a prisoner in my own body, giggling and confessing to my crimes while I was screaming inside. And it got worse. They put me in a little apartment, with a little job…and left me alone. In that hell. _

_Every 22 hours, I had two hours where I was myself—at least in part. I could talk, I could move around…but if I tried to leave my apartment, the chip would shock me into unconsciousness. _

_The first week, I tried to get out, and threatened and ranted. No good. GJ ignored my threats, and the chip took care of me trying to get out. The second week, I asked to go back to jail. No dice. They just told me that eventually I'd reconcile myself to my fate and even thank them. I guess eventually the damned souls thank Lucifer, too. _

_I guess it was a month… I just remember crying everytime the chip let me. Two hours, begging them to let me go…I'd do anything they wanted… I… this is pretty hard to remember, I'm sorry. I begged them to kill me. They didn't. _

_And I don't think that two hour pause was needed… I think someone I'd pissed off realized just what a dandy torture it was. I couldn't stop looking at the clock, seeing another minute, another second of my "freedom" gone away. I couldn't even commit suicide, because the chip wouldn't let me. No matter what I did, at the end of the hour, I'd get the stupid smile on my face, and walk out and start cleaning up the room. I couldn't hide from it, not even in the closet or under the bed. I tried._

_A month later, the door opened, and Ron walked in, coincidentally the same time I was…"free". It turned out he'd gotten out of the hospital and looked me up, wondering what had happened. If he'd been a civilian, the chip would have kicked back on for the duration of his stay…but since he and Kim were listed as GJ operatives, it didn't…and I could ask him. _

_I hugged him and than grabbed the steak knife and asked him to do me. I warned him, since he looked kinda shocked, that I don't know if the chip will make me attack him. He blinks._

_"Chip? What chip?" I told him the whole story, and by the end, I'm hysterical, looking at the clock ticking down, begging him to just kill me, because I can't stand another day like this. He doesn't say anything, but his face turns pale and furious…and then the time ends, and I smile and ask him if he wants any pie, while I'm busily screaming inside. He frowns at me, and I remember what he said._

_"I'm sorry…I was talking to Shego. I'll be back to get her back." I don't see him for a few days and figure that well, he decided to boogie. Then, there's Ron, Kim and her mom…with a big gun pointed out me. She pulls the trigger and I pass out. _

_Later on, I wake up with Ron brushing my hair back. The back of my neck is bandaged and I realize that the chip was there…and I realize that I'm me… I'm **me!**__I'm strapped in the bed, but Ron tells me the implant is out. And I'm free to go. I ask about GJ, and Ron gets a very nasty look on his face and mentions that given the choice between letting me go and having a round dozen human rights violations regarding me come up…they decided on option one…although right now he's not in good odor with them. _

_And then I realize why Kim isn't there. She was with him at the beginning…but right now, Ron has a security band on—the kind you give to people who aren't members and don't have any clearance. I ask him if he got fired, and he grins and mentions it was a "resigned by request" thing, but since they didn't pay him, what's the big deal. He'll still be with Kim on their private missions. Then suddenly he gets a real serious look, and says something I'd never figured him to think about. He tells me I may be bad…but that doesn't give anyone a right to make me a lab animal, and he'd be damned before he'd stand aside. _

_When I got my parole papers, Ron was with me, and we were both escorted out, and both informed we were not to return. He grinned at that. All my money was gone—the chip had made it very easy to find out all my little bolt holes and safe deposits, and I couldn't get a job in the old way. I had a bad feeling that if I did, I'd end up with a chip again, Ron or no Ron…and it scared me. God, it scared me worse than any thought of death ever did. _

_On the other hand, even for someone like me, there were jobs. Believe it or not, security will pay well, as does bodyguard work—and it **is** legal. It wasn't a lot—nobody was about to trust little Shego with guarding the crown jewels, but it got me an apartment, and some spending cash. Ron of course was still in school, although he and I still talked, although I occasionally got pissed at the way Kim treated him. He just laughed it off. _

_And well, I guess his parents didn't realize how much time he was spending with me…or when we started to go see some movies together. _

_And then Kim and some of the other students were caught in that avalanche. Ron was like a wild man—he actually got frostbite looking for them. We found Kim and Bonnie eventually, but God, I thought Ron was going to go mad. Heh… I guess he infected me. Once they were in the hospital I dropped by the local Catholic Church and let a candle for thanksgiving. Call me sentimental. _

_Once they woke up, I figured things would be normal…but that's when Ron Stoppable shows up at my apartment, without calling first, drunk as a skunk, at __3 AM_

_To be continued._


	3. Chapter III

_OK, Fine. I'll keep on…._

_Ahem. When last we left our show, As the Villain Turns, I was looking out from the door to my ratty apartment, at a seventeen year old who couldn't hold his damned liquor. _

_"Heeyyy Shhegggoo" He says, or at least I think he says, and comes staggering in and then throws up, on my floor. _

_Not to mention me. _

_Well, I'm a…law abiding, if not good girl, now, and so I don't eviscerate him, or do any of the twenty-five other things that come first to mind. Instead, I drag him in, get him cleaned up…and clean up my floor. _

_Now, I'm talking (well, I **am** talking…he's slurring) to Ron. I owe him and well, like I said, we've been dating…or seeing movies together. I don't know if it counts as a date. _

_So, anyway, he's talking about Kim. Or bitching about Kim. _

_"Damned Kim…" He says, "She wants to geth into the business again…she's gonna die, I told her that…" And so on, and so on. They've been together forever, and she's his best friend, and why doesn't she understand that this is such a bad idea. If you've ever talked to a drunk you'll understand the difficulty of having a coherent discussion. Many good brain cells died that night. _

_So, I finally get it out of him that Kim is feeling weird and wants to go onto more missions, and she's cut him out of the loop about something. Someone else, I think. He even says that he doesn't understand that he knows her secrets, but then he clams up, even drunk. _

_That pisses me off. You would think that **Ron** would realize I wasn't going to go after her, but he's still keeping her secrets. And she's still treating him like shit. _

_Now, I can understand her not showing up—for one thing, I bet his parents would go ballistic, and if Kim doesn't see, she doesn't have to say. Associating with me could also hurt her ties to GJ and she does go with him to Bueno Nacho. But now… I bet she's found one of her boy friends, and is treating Ron like the unwanted tag-along._

_Again. _

_And suddenly, I have had about enough of it. So, I'm going to go talk to Kimmie. If I don't like what I hear, I'm going to rearrange her face and forcibly retire her. _

_Well, I put Ron to bed and go find Kim. He won't wake up until morning, so that's OK. I also know how to find Kim, since she left her Kimmunicator with Ron, and I long since learned how to hack it and get her own unit's location. _

_I find her outside of somebody's house—oh that irritating co-cheerleader who also almost got turned into glacier chow. _

_That's odd—and more odd when Kim sneaks out of her back door and heads across the yard. _

_But that's not my problem. I swing down behind her and she doesn't hear me, which is pretty surprising. I tap her on the shoulder and tell her:_

_"Hey Kimmie, let's talk…about **Ron**" And she gives me a look like "Oh Shit!" I don't care. First I lay it out to her that Ron is asleep at my house, because he's terrified that she'll get killed again. Then, I point out that she's used up about ten lifetimes worth of luck. _

_Then, incase logic eludes her, I point out that if I have to break both her legs, I will and I'll keep doing it as long as it takes to get her retired, and what the hell is she doing to Ron? Playing around with a new boyfriend? Kim looks even more panicked, and I keep going. I let her know that keeping secrets from Ron isn't cool, because I can't think of anyone who deserves it less…and suddenly I'm yelling at her. Ron was there for me, and I'll be damned if I let some little red headed "heroine" toss him aside like a used tampon. _

_That's when Kim looks real upset, and tells me that there have never been any boyfriends, and Ron knows that. I glare at her and than ask her how can she think I would fall for that._

_She sighs and then just looks at me and says: "Because Ron knows I'm a lesbian." _

_Now that's a discussion stopper. It's such a stopper that the next thing I know is that Kim is on her knees in front of me, telling me, with tears in her eyes, that Ron knows, she'd never hurt Ron, but please don't tell anyone else. _

_I suddenly have a good idea of why she's leaving her friend's house by the backdoor. I don't say anything about that…because I'm suddenly thinking about Dr. D's blush ray, and how Kimmie's always been easy to embarrass. She must be about ready to wet herself at the thought that tomorrow, "Kim Possible is a dyke" could be all over Middleton courtesy of Shego. Not only that, but I bet every one of her female friends would boogie, for fear of getting tarred…especially if they were. _

_Of course, Ron would never speak to me again. Of course, Kim only told me because she thought I really believed she was hurting Ron. _

_Thanks God. Just in case you didn't hear me the first time you pulled this on me with having Ron save me. Thanks. Really. No, I mean it. _

_So, now we're back at the diner, and I'm talking to Kim Possible. By mutual agreement, the whole sexual preference thing gets dropped, in favor of me telling her that she needs to get out of the business. _

_She points out that people need her. _

_I say, Bull, people want her, and they can find someone else. She doesn't get paid, she doesn't have health—has she ever considered what will happen if she gets a nasty compound fracture one day? She shakes her head. So I hit her with my big shot…and casually point out that in the kind of business she's in, well I've heard that closed casket funerals can be **really** hard on the family. _

_That shuts her up. I press my point by suggesting maybe, just to see, how it works, she could stick to non-criminal jobs? You know, guard the object, find the widdle hurt birdie… stuff like that, instead of "break into the lair and confront the heavily armed madman." Just for her senior year, say, to see how it works. _

_She promises to think about it, which is about as good as I'm going to get. I don't press my luck. I also realize that I have a drunk (well, probably hung over by now) Ron to get back to. _

_So I head back, and when I get home, Ron's basically having a fit, because he's afraid I was about to kill Kim. I point out that I would never kill his friend…maim is the closest I would get to. Then I start to think. We've kind of been on a date, and he's not had much of a love life. _

_Because the stupid little git is too loyal for his own good. I bet half the girls at school might be interested in him, despite his goofiness…but everyone does think he's with Kim… and well, would **you** try to horn in on some martial artist, super spy type's territory? I would, but I'm funny that way. _

_And I like him… He's been there for me, when he had no reason to. He's also cute…especially when something happens and you realize that for all the goofiness and losing his pants, he's pretty solid. _

_I let him know that I know about Kim. He pales, and I grin at him and let him know her dark secret is safe with me. But by the way… I'm **not** a lesbian. _

_So, being the demure sort I am, I grab him, pull him down to the couch and get busy. _

_Now, I have a bang up body…and Ron apparently agrees, when I remove the top and show him the fact that if I'm not about to get into a fight, I like to go unholstered. He isn't the most used to seeing something like that 'in the flesh' from the way his eyes get wide. (Well, he probably has seen Kimmie like that more than once, but given what I know now, she probably counts in his head as a sister…which is a whole lot different from what he's seeing now). After that, things get rather confused. _

_Now, for the record… For his first time out he's pretty good. _

_Also for the record. It's a good idea to **not** forget condoms at a time like this…especially when I'm not on the pill. _

_To be continued. _


	4. Chapter IV

_Children, see the miracle of life! Sperm, meet egg. Egg meet sperm. _

_Behold! Babies!_

_Yes, Babies, plural. _

_I didn't know that right then, of course. _

_I did know that our first time out was unprotected, but hell, who ever heard of getting pregnant like that—I mean, I was his first. So… next time, I make certain to have protection._

_And there was a next time. Oh Boy was there a next time, and a time after that, and a time after that… Still waters run very deep…and Ron was making up for lost time…and ah, yeah, he got _really_ good. In the sack on the couch, once or twice on the road…we were a nicely paired in our horniness. _

_Of course, because I now knew Kimmie's dark secret, we could go out and double date—Ron 'dates' Kim, I come alone, and Felix and Bonnie show up. Then we go to a golf park and suddenly Ron ends up on my arm, and Bonnie ends up on Kim's arm, and Kim proves that she's lousy at keeping a secret, at least from us, since she and Bonnie spend the whole night shifting between making dove eyes at each other and doe-in-the-headlight eyes when anyone else drops by. I thought Kim was going to have a heart attack when some kids from school waved. Felix, ain't gay, by the way—but Monique doesn't know and Kim… well they're both pretty terrified. _

_Then there's a few missions Kim goes on—"missions" that seen to coincide with Bonnie being out of town and that don't seem to go beyond a hotel room she booked. Ron's thrilled for her, but I'm not so certain. How strong can something be if you're unwilling to show it?_

_Heh. I know. Pot, Kettle. I haven't exactly suggested having Ron's parents walk in when I'm sitting on his lap. Still, I'm sneaky, and Ron isn't intending to keep it secret…he's just worried that until he's 18 we might find ourselves being separated in the legal sense. I've had enough of jails, so I can see his point. _

_But when I'm leaning over the toilet, puking my guts out for the fifth time in a day, I get a bad feeling. To make matters worse, I strip down and notice that I'm a little…chunkier than I was only a few weeks ago, as well as bigger up top. _

_Women have a sixth sense about this sort of thing, and my sixth sense was giving me a never ending monologue of "oh shit, you're knocked up." _

_OK…it's just a little flu. I get a home pregnancy kit and test. _

_Alright, so it's the **nine-month** variety… and it's already weird, because I shouldn't be showing right now. Which means I need a doctor. _

_Which means Kim's mom. _

_"Hi Dr. Possible. I know I'm 25, but I've been knocking socks with your kid's childhood friend and I'm knocked up right now, but weird things are happening, so could you restrain the impulse to throttle me until you can tell what's going on?"_

_That's pretty much what was said. She runs some checks, calls **Ron** and then gives him the death eye. He looks confused. I tell him. He looks terrified. I guess it's the 17 year old teenager's traditional allergies to the ideas of babies, diapers…that whole thing. Probably what I'm feeling. _

_Then she comes out and with a big smile tells me that nothing is wrong. My body is simply supercharged and healthy, right?_

_I say yeah. _

_She grins even bigger and tells me happily (because it's happening to me, and not her), that in about a month, I'm going to look like I'm at about four months, and progress on from there. I'm going to spend my last two trimesters looking like I'm about to burst—which is good for the babies, because they'll have room to develop and more than enough nourishment. She then prescribes a ton of nutrition supplements and diet stuff and looks at Ron, loses her smile and mentions that he might want to talk to his parents about this._

_Oh Yes. The whole "hide the pregnancy until he's 18" thing just went out the window. I have two options, and one isn't even an option. I was brought up Catholic, and for all I've lapsed, the thought of an abortion doesn't even raise it's ugly head. I really hope Ron doesn't think of it, but all he does, is with that pole axed stare on his face, turn to me and mention that we'd better talk to his parents, because we need to get married. Soon. _

_I'm an adult, he's a teen. If he wanted to, he could dodge out, claiming I seduced him. (true, in a manner of speaking). He looks like he can't decide to be terrified or thrilled, but he takes my hand in his and asks me if **I** want to get married. If not, he says, when he comes to his majority, and the rest of the Naco money is his, I'd never want for money, even if I don't want to see him again. _

_Nutty hormones. _

_That's the problem. Everyone knows pregnant women have nutty hormones. _

_That's why I burst into tears at what he says. Doesn't have anything to do with the fact he didn't hesitate. Or he's promising to spend his life with me. Or that he's the first person to ever do that. _

_Nope. Just hormones. I'll be alright in a few minutes. _

_Of course, then I realize that after this moment, now we **have** to see the folks… and I gotta feeling that they aren't going to be overly pleased at their new potential daughter-in-law. _

_To be continued. _


	5. Chapter V

_OK. I can do this. I'm an international super villain, I've fought monsters, heroes, and the products of Drakken's cooking. _

_I can do this. _

_All I have to do is get out of the car, and walk up a few feet to the door of Ron's house. _

_Where his parents are. The grandparents of the children I'm pregnant with. _

_I can do this. I'm not terrified._

_Yes, I am. _

_Why? How about because in less than a month, according to Dr. Possible, I'm going to be effectively helpless? Because I'm about to bring not one, but **two** kids into the world…and I have no idea if after what happens in that house I'll be doing it with someone…or alone. Of if I'll even be allowed to keep them. Normally DA's don't make too much noise about a 17 year old, but if they want to, they can claim that I seduced Ron and… well, you get the picture. _

_Ron gives me his goofball grin and I realize that at least in his world, I'm not going to be left holding the ball alone. _

_So we walk in, and Ron's mom and Dad look at me, frown, and then notice how Ron is holding me, one arm around my waist and really frown. And then Ron says:_

_"Mom, Dad…we need to talk." _

_Oh boy. _

_Oh **Boy**. _

_Yeah. They took it well. _

_And I'm Mary Mother of God. _

_Let's see. First they screamed. Then they decided to call the cops. Ron said no. They screamed again. Mom accused me of being a child molesting gold digger. I **really** tried to keep my mouth shut, since I wanted to say some choice things about her. Dad wanted to know what I was doing waltzing in here like I owned the place. _

_Well, for that one, I couldn't answer since I sure as hell wasn't certain. _

_So now Ron's voice is raising and their voices are rising and we're all on the way to a lovely full scale knock down drag out—"Hey mommy, was that when you killed grand-pa" the kids might ask some day. And then Ron takes a deep breath and shuts up for about five minutes, which is how long it takes everyone else to shut up. _

_Then he lays it out for mom and dad, and for once, they listen. _

_They can have me arrested. Ron won't testify against me, and he'll never talk to them again. Also, their kid will be born in jail. Where their mom is. _

_They can refuse to let Ron marry me. In which case, their kids will be, what is commonly known as bastards, or if you want to be more polite but just as cutting, illegitimate. _

_They can cut off Ron, which is their right, but the kids will probably wonder why granddad and mom don't drop by. _

_Then he takes a deep breath, and mentions option four. _

_They can be pissed off as all get out at Ron, because, yes, their son and Shego (and I'm really trying not to be noticed right now, because they need to listen), have screwed up in a major, life changing way, and the fact that he's gonna have money doesn't keep him from being a lot more scared about this than he's ever been in his life, and he could really use some support right now. He really **needs** some support._

_Parents look at each other. Parents look at kid. Parents glare at me and look at exhibit "A" in my crime, my currently unexpanded belly. Parents nod. They'll support Ron…and we'll get married. _

_At a civil ceremony. Ron starts to swell up at that, but I nudge his feet. Quitting while you're ahead is very much indicated in this situation. _

_Mom continues, mentioning that a more…elaborate ceremony will come later. _

_Ah. So that's it. If Shego reverts to type or Ron comes to his senses, they can get a civil annulment, without the problem of the big public marriage. Smart—a bit cowardly, but smart. I decide to just not think about whether they're going it for Ron or themselves. _

_So, we get hitched. Ron isn't taking any chances of a reconsideration, so he whips out his celphone and makes a call. Rabbi Katz is licensed, and the parents and Ron trust him. He blinks when he drops by, because it's getting late, and nobody actually informed him of the reason for the visit. _

_Second big problem. Rabbi Katz isn't going to marry us…unless **he's **satisfied. _

_Now that's just great. On the other hand, I don't have to deal with the dagger looks mom is giving me, because he throws both of them out of the living room and sits us down on the couch. We're holding hands, to show we're the loving couple…kinda ruined by the fact that we're holding on so tight that it's cutting off circulation. _

_He just looks at us and flat out asks. Do we love each other. _

_And I open my mouth to ask what type of question that was, and I close it. _

_Because I don't have an answer. _

_I like Ron. I care for him. But love? Hell, I don't even know if I know what it is. _

_Ron has the same expression on his face. We like each other. We care for each other. But "like" and "care" and even the really neat, "Oh wow, there he is, and in about thirty seconds our clothes are gonna be scattered all over the floor, and I'm going to be waking up the neighbors in a block radius because he's making me scream so loud and happily…"_

_Isn't what we're talking about. We're talking about something more, and I think I care for him. Hell, maybe I love him. _

_But do I love him enough? Once Katz does this, if we satisfy him, there isn't any going back. _

_Now I'm getting feelings in my belly that **aren't** morning sickness—because Ron looks like he has them to. Then he looks at Rabbi Katz, and has to clear his throat a few times. _

_"I… I don't know Rabbi." He says, and goes on to say what I've been thinking. Rabbi Katz looks at us both and nods. He'll do it. But he warns us…it's gonna be difficult. _

_I'd kinda guessed that back at the pregnancy test, Rabbi. He also tells Ron to call Kim and her family._

_When the parents get back in, they **don't** like that. Rabbi doesn't budge. A marriage, he mentions is a contract before both God and man. Act like it's something to be ashamed of, or to be concealed, and you break the agreement, right from the start. Kim's been about as close to Ron as anyone. He continues, and she and her family have a right to be here. To witness. _

_Oh, sneaky, sneaky, Rabbi. Letting mom and dad know that once they've given their approval, there will be no later weaseling. I could get to like him. _

_So suddenly, Kim and her family are there. I don't know what Ron said, but they know something's up, because they're all in good clothes. Kim looks poleaxed—especially since mom's filling her in on the events, Dad looks well… worried. Twin brothers, look like all kids their age do—why did you put us in these monkey suits and can we go, **please?** _

_So we do the ceremony—Ron's mom got her mother's ring, which Ron sticks onto my finger at the appropriate moment in the service. Kim's veering between happy and horrified, her mom and Ron's mom are doing the waterworks thing, and to my horror, so am I. _

_I can't honestly tell you what was going through my head. Yeah, I liked Ron, I liked him a lot. But you try being coherent after you go, in about a month, from mind controlled in hell, to free, to free with a kinda boyfriend, to screwing like monkeys, to pregnant, to now married to a seventeen year old and expecting twins. Right now, an MRI would show a giant sparkling TILT sign. _

_But Ron grins and pulls me close to whisper some sweet nothings, and then he mentions I should have looked at the ring. _

_For what, I ask. He than looks at it like he's trying to read it and starts saying:_

_"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,_ _ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul!_ "

_I punch him. Lightly. In the spirit of the occasion and because I'm suddenly laughing, and that's about as big a wedding night gift he could give me. _

_That's when Rabbi Katz informs everyone that we must now go and eat. Because such an occasion needs to be celebrated. Ron suggests Bueno Nacho and everyone, right down to the little collections of cells in me, say: No. _

_Well the twins say yes, but they don't get a vote. _

_So we go off and eat. It's a nice place, and I actually manage to put some food down. Ron eats with more gusto, the rat. By the end, his parents look… well… not happy, but better with the idea. I guess like a parachutist who's chute failed to open, they've decided that screaming and flapping their arms on the way down is undignified. _

_Kim gives me the obligatory: If you hurt him at all I'll break your arms and legs and leave you in death valley for the vultures. I give her my patented nasty smile and tell her that I would never dream of hurting Ron, because that would demand that I humiliate Kimmie when she tries to carry through with her threat. _

_Honor satisfied, we go back to talking. _

_But soon enough the night is over, and we find ourselves at a good hotel, because Kim called in a favor, and the next day we go off to a lovely seven day honeymoon. I guess we'll be having loads of hot heavy sex there…unless the kids decide they want to see what the toilets over **there **look like. But for now… We're on the couch and our arms are intertwined…but there ain't a lot of sex going on. _

_I'm just…burned out. Too much stimulation…and now it's kind of pleasant to just be in this haze. Ron looks the same. _

_"Scared?" He asks. I nod. He leans his head against mine, and we just stay like that. I'm still scared. But more than ever now, I like the feel of him laying against me, warm and supporting. _

_To be continued. _


	6. Chapter VI

_OK. Before we get to the meat of the conversation kiddies: LOVE ISN'T ENOUGH. When you get married, remember that. It'll save you no end of confusion, pain and screaming at each other at __3:00 AM__ and annoying the neighbors. _

_The honeymoon is at a good resort—not one of the ones I'd been at, but that was OK, because the last thing I needed was some beefcake trying to show off. _

_Well, for the most part, the Kid's are quiet, so we…explore sexual positions. Starting with those that begin with the letter "A". Ron hasn't had as much experience as I had, so we get to do the Lewis and Clark, exploring uncharged territories and setting up camp. It's fun. Bedroom, bathroom, shower, beach, behind the beach… well, you get the idea. _

_Than it's over, and we get to come back home. We actually rent a house (his parents cut loose some of the Naco money…after asking me to keep watch. No, they don't like me that much, but after the last time he had money…). _

_There's also the prom. _

_Yes, you heard me right, the prom. After the honeymoon, we get to go to the prom, which is kinda backwards, if you think about it. _

_Still. _

_I don't know if Kim's going—according to Ron, while we were off on our honeymoon, she and Bonnie were having some kind of heart to heart. My guess is they flee to __Bolivia_

_He gets the suit and I get the dress—which fortunately is still able to disguise that fact that I am getting a little thicker in the middle. (comet powers, yay. Hope you like the extra room kids, because I'm grounding you for this the minute you pop out.)._

_And we show up. Now Mr. Barkin knows, I've been told, which is why we aren't greeted by cops or angry chaperones. Of course, the minute we walk in, all the gossip mongers are staring at us. I give them nasty smiles. The boys get: Yes, the buffoon has me and you don't. The girls get: Yes, I have the buffoon and you don't. Actually, I have **Ron** and you don't. _

_Then the gossipers swivel their eyes from us, and they get even bigger, if possible, because Kim and Bonnie just walked in behind us, arms linked, and definitely not "just friends." They both have very challenging looks on their faces, and not a hint of fear… really. Their knees aren't knocking._

_Of course, I can see that Kimmie's about ready to faint if anyone so much as says "boo!" and so is Bonnie, but nobody does. Brick Flagg gets some ribbing, but he has __Tara__, and from the look on his face, he knew. I wonder how those dynamics played out?_

_So we have the prom…and it's pretty wonderful. I never went to one when I was his age (hell, who needs it), and so this is kinda fun. We stick close, and as the night wears on, I figure that this is a sign that everything's going to be ok._

_Shows you what I know.

* * *

_

_In the weeks after, we learn the lesson that I told you at the beginning. Now, I think I love Ron. There is a lot of giggling, horse play and wonderful hallmark moments. _

_But then other things intrude. The part about actually **Living** with someone instead of just dropping by for a roll in the hay. _

_By four weeks later, I'm apparent, with a nice bulge, and none of my clothes fit and I'm now wearing overalls and a T-shirt, because at the rate things are going I'll be bying new clothes every week if I try for them to fit. I'm not even bothering with Bras—every day they seem to be getting bigger, which of course has loving hubby (and remember this girls: All men are obsessed with breasts. It's genetic) staring because they're about to pop out the top of the overalls I'm wearing. He's a bit more careful about touching, because depending on the moods of the demon spawned creatures from hel- ahem, I mean my **loving** children, anything touching them can feel normal or like sandpaper…and if it's the latter, mommy Shego gets **very** angry. There's also no way to tell until you do it. _

_And that's part of it. Pregnancy. Let me show you how hormones and pregnancy can work in the new Stoppable house hold. _

_Ron: Shego? Why are you crying?_

_Me: BAAAWWWWWLLLL I'm ugly, my stomach is big, my boobs are hurting and I hate it!_

_Him: You're not ugly. You're beautiful. _

_Me: No I'm not! You're just saying that!_

_Him: No…really!_

_Me: Then rip my clothes off now!_

_Him: hesitates/does what I tell him to._

_Me: SEE! UGLY UGLY! (Runs into bathroom and locks the door)/ AGGGHHH! YOU BASTARD! ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU'VE DONE THIS TO ME? (Runs into bathroom and locks the door). _

_Five minutes later: Come out of door and look at Ron._

_Me: Let's have sex. _

_Him: But you…_

_Me: Angry later horny now. _

_And so on, and so on. Gotta love pregnancy. It gives you all the fun of living to a split personality lunatic, and you can't even argue you didn't do it to yourself. _

_And I wish that was all there was to it. But there isn't. See, we're **living** together now. At all times. Ron doesn't have school, and I don't work much now…so we have each other underfoot. _

_There's only so much sex you can have. You have to talk…and we do. But you also have to understand that you aren't clones, and that's where the problems come in. We're both used to having our space. I'm a super villainess, and he's a teenager, for which read: self centered and clueless. _

_I like to express myself loudly, and Ron doesn't know how to handle it, and a lot of times he resorts to Zombie Mayhem 3, hoping to play the game long enough for the problem to go away. That pisses me off, which makes him retreat, or gets him yelling back. _

_And I guess we do love each other, because it wouldn't hurt so bad when we're hurling insults at each other if we didn't. I wouldn't be locking myself in the bathroom crying if I didn't. _

_But I guess we do, but neither one of us have any clue how to stop. We love each other…but that isn't working. _

_We continue like this for nearly two months. I'm getting bigger (hell, I'm huge), and we're just… it's…_

_Sorry, this is hard. _

_It's not working.

* * *

_

_Now, Kim and Bonnie are at college, living together, which means that their mom has oh, at least two years until the twins hit those magical teen years. It's not as terrible as it might seem, because they've been mad scientists since they were six, but anyway, I bet she's happy to have a little more tranquility in her life. _

_So, picture this. _

_Dr. Possible is getting ready to go out and eat with some friends. It's raining. There's thunder. She's in her nice raincoat. _

_She opens the door to a knock, wondering if they've come to pick her up…_

_And there's me. _

_Shego. In my overalls, and shirt, big as the Goodyear blimp…no jacket, soaked to the skin, hair slicked down every which way, and the only thing I'm able to say to her (well, blubber out) is that I think I've screwed up major and he left after an argument and I am such a stupid bitch and he hasn't come back and why did I do that. Repeat. Don't worry about seeming coherent. _

_I wasn't. _

_So she cancels her dinner, and calls Rabbi Katz, which is where Ron showed up, in a similar state, I might add (well, except for the pregnant part), sits me down and pours hot tea down my throat while getting dry clothes. The tea, I find out later, also includes a mild tranquilizer. Now I'm in a robe, and only mildly hysterical, and Dr. Possible is talking to me. _

_She's a doctor, she's used to this, I guess, but right now she's just listening and getting a mild frown on her face. _

_Then she asks me if I was born stupid, or just really, really worked hard to get my stupid diploma. _

_Well no, she doesn't, but the thought is plain on her face. _

_She casually mentions that if she was spending 24/7 with her husband, she'd be wanting to murder him as well. That we're both making a big mistake, because married doesn't mean you're glued together at the hip…and we both need to do something outside. _

_Later I find out that Rabbi Katz was saying the same thing. _

_When the get us together, we talk. I'm certain you don't want to hear about the week long process of "I hate you!" "But I love you!" crying, shouting wailing, etc. I would have been hugely amusing for anyone not part of it, but you had to be there. _

_So Ron is going to college—and it's a mark of just how far I've fallen that one of my first thoughts is that he's going to be around nice cute girls who don't scream or curse and show him just what a big mistake he made. _

_That was unfair. When I said it… I think I hurt him worse than anything I'd said previously had. _

_That's another thing about being in love. You can rip out your loved ones heart and stomp it into paste in front of them, depending on what you say. _

_But there's a little Karma, because it feels like you're doing it to your own heart at the same time. But we… get over that. _

_Or he forgives me, which is no small thing. _

_So Ron is going to be out of the house for at least a good half of the day. _

_That leaves me. _

_Now, Kim and Bonnie are renting just down the street. (Kim's parents had no problems, but Bonnie's sisters…did. Don't ask, not my story to tell, but it wasn't all flowers and light in her life), so Dr. Possible (Kim's mom, not the rocket lunatic), says that they can drop by when I'm alone. _

_But she also lets me know that I need someplace, something to do that… well is my space. Something for me to do, by myself, that lets everyone else know that I need my space right now. Trust her, she says, once the children are born, I'll need it more than ever. _

_Well, working as an assassin is kinda out of the question, as is international mercenary and sarcastic villain sidekick. So I have to go back a little further and remember what I liked to do before the comet hit. _

_Gardening. _

_Stop. Laughing. _

_I liked to garden when I was little. In fact, the first thing I remember about the comet hitting is being angry that my entire little garden was gone. Dr. Possible mentions thats good exercise, so I find myself at the house, looking at the back yard, which is a weed arboretum, and thinking about things I've haven't thought about in a long time. _

_So, while Ron's at school, I'm out there, weeding and getting the seeds I ordered and the fertilizer, and wearing a scarf on my head with my hair pinned up or done in one long braid, in overalls and an undershirt depending on my mood and what I intend to do with Ron when he returns. _

_And scarily enough, I'm having fun. I get a lawn chair so when I'm tired of work I can sunbathe (and that's another reason for having it be in the back yard, since sunbathing _sans_ clothes might attract a bit of attention in the front yard), or read a novel. It's relaxing. _

_Dr. Possible was right. I need a space. So does Ron. We **do** love each other (at least in my book), but we need someplace to get away. Ron has his school and friends as he's getting his business degree, and I have my garden. I've always been a bit more…solitary than he is, and in any case a lot of people are still nervous about me. _

_Of course we haven't become monks and nuns—in fact in some respects things are jumping even more at the house, as I can now mention to Ron when he walks in the front door that I'm sweaty and we need to take a shower. _

_Now. _

_He never refuses. _

_We go out to eat, except when he cooks inside. (Yes Girls, my husband not only is good in the sack, loves me and has a sense of humor, he cooks. He **likes** to cook. By the way, you shouldn't grind your teeth like that.)_

_We… this is going to sound really strange, especially to those of you who have never done this… but we become friends. And accept that love isn't going to change the fact that we both have habits that drive the other crazy. _

_That we can get pissed at each other, even argue…but it doesn't' mean we don't' love each other. It just means we're two people with issues, like every single other person on the planet. _

_We have Dr. Possible and Rabbi Katz to thank for that…only I don't' think we'll ever be able to thank them enough._

_Because it saved us.

* * *

_

_To keep Dr. Possible off my back, especially since Hego mentioned it to her, I'm also taking online courses, to get my GED. Who needs high school when you're a super hero, I figured. _

_Oh yea, Hego. The rest of my family is very happy that I've abandoned evil…and that almost had me slaughter them all on the spot. Ron however came to my rescue, pointing out that I could be **very** evil—depending on what we were talking about. _

_I don't think Hego ever took sex-ed, not from the color he turned. The others were better…but still._

_I don't know if I want my kids to associate with them. My family wasn't there for me… do I want to give them the chance to be there for the kids? I have this thought when Kim and Bonnie are over and Hego's telling a story (with him as the hero, of course) about some battle I'd forgotten about, but I feel my hands move up and shield my children. _

_Granted, I did some of the screwing up myself—but my family put in their part to screw me up. Should I risk letting them do the same to my children? My babies?_

_I don't know, but while I'm thinking of that, Ron puts his arm around me. He can tell I'm upset. Nobody else can, but he can. _

_Later that night, when everyone's left, we're both in bed, well, I'm sitting on the side, and Ron's giving me a back massage to work out the kinks from the Junior Stoppable component of the family. I tell him what I was thinking and he pauses, and mentions that we can keep a watch on Hego and co…but he doesn't' know if we have the right to keep the kids from knowing their family. _

_I… I don't like it…but he's right. But I **will** be watching.

* * *

_

_So we continue. Months pass. I get bigger up until about month 6 and stop. Then. Yes, if you're a lady, and you're angry about the fact that I have superpowers, consider the balancing part—I got to spend the last three months of my pregnancy looking like most women do in the last two weeks. My, not so envious now, are you? _

_Then, one day, I'm out shopping, I feel a twinge, look down and see water all over the floor, running down my legs and staining the overalls. My water broke. _

_Time for the blessed event. _

_Whee._

_To be continued. _


	7. Chapter VII

_BEHOLD THE MIRACLE OF LIFE!

* * *

_

_Or rather, behold the miracle of discovering that yes, it's possible to pass something about as wide as a two liter bottle down that space, and realize just how full of it all those porn stories are—trust me. No guy is that big. _

_Now let me explain what is supposed to happen and what iw really happening. _

_Supposed to, in the Hallmark-verse._

_Me: Oh, husband dear…behold this blessed event. Isn't is so wonderful. I wish to experience this to its full degree, so do not give me morphine. _

_Reality: Me: ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH! I've been pushing and panting for TEN FREAKING HOURS! WHAT ARE THOSE TWO DOING? HAVING A PARTY SO THEY DON'T WANT TO LEAVE? WHERE IS MY MORPHINE!_

_Dr. Ms. Possible (With a BIG smile on her face, because right now, somebody ELSE is having twins): Push dear._

_Me: WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING!_

_It gets worse because on the monitor image we had as I was going through this, it looks like the girl wants to get out—the boy really wants to stay put. Of course, the boy is ah, "in the chute" and the girl is apparently jumping up and down on his head. _

_Now, for hubby. Ah yes, the man who put the little tykes in me. (And remember this girls, at these moments, they are **always** his children.). _

_Hallmark-verse:_

_Hubby: Ah, the miracle of life! I am so happy. Wife, let me assist._

_Reality: Ron: OH MY GOD! WHAT IS HAPPENING DOWN THERE? I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING SO DISGUSTING IN MY LIFE! I TOUCHED YOU DOWN THERE? (Oh, and the proper response to that, ladies is: Yes, you $$#! Because that's why this is happening now!). _

_Seriously, the same husband that cannot keep his hands, and other appendages off of you, is now looking at your crotch, with all the joy of birth going on down there, like you're about to explode into some amoeboid creature from another dimension. Don't be upset—just hope that he doesn't faint or barf. Ron did neither. _

_So, I'm pushing and reflecting that this is something that I never expected when I was fighting Kimmie. I'm also concentrating on avoiding that idiotic "stupid mommy reflex". I'm about to have two little blobs of protoplasm, that will be ugly. I will not try to pretend they are anything else. _

_Then all of a sudden, I'm twenty pounds lighter, exhausted as anything, and the two rug-rats are put on my chest, with those scrunched up red faces, with eyes closed against the evil, evil light—to say nothing of the evil, evil doctor that smacked them on the ass. _

_OK. I'm looking at them, and my mouth is open to tell them just how funny and ugly they look…when suddenly, to my horror, my ears don't hear that. _

_They hear a sniffle and me saying how incredibly beautiful they both are. Ron's saying the same thing, and we both have that idiotic poleaxed smile on our faces, because I have never seen anything so beautiful. _

_Gah. I can't believe I said that. I can't believe I said that. _

_And it was **true.**

* * *

_

_We name them Ann and David Stoppable. They're bright, happy kids, and between the two of them, active enough to make me wish for the days of only having to deal with GJ. _

_Now, fortunately, we've had our great crisis moment in the marriage. So the fact that now we have two children who have practiced how to keep mommy and daddy awake at all hours of the night and day, doesn't hurt our marriage…just our sleep patterns. Since I'm the one with the equipment, I'm up a fair amount feeding them. Ron feeds them with stuff from the fridge, either banked away or store bought, but they prefer mommy. _

_Oh, yeah, quick aside. You know all those books on "how to decide when to wean?" Don't bother. I'll tell you when. _

_When teething equals: Me: Here you go baby. Baby: CHOMP! Me: AIIIGGGGGHHH!_

_That's when you wean. Unless you want to bring up a vampire, that is. Of course in our case, the kids were born pretty big and healthy, so according to the pediatrician, they teethed early as well. _

_Also, Kid's love dry diapers. Why? Because that means they can watch the look on mommy and daddy's face when they wait until you put them in a new, clean diaper…and then soil it right away!_

_Beyond that, I'm not going to bore you with all the fun involved with newborns. If you have them, you know, if you don't I'll just scare you. _

_But tangentially, the kids absolutely adore Bonnie and Kim—and Bonnie and Kim adore them right back. From what I understand, I think Bonnie's using them as a back door assault on Kim. Bonnie wants to get married, Kim's skittish and Ron, I and the rugrats get brought up a lot, especially when said rugrats are crawling around over their floor. _

_Now, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here. Kids are…well… kids. Time passes, and we start to get into a comfortable groove. Ron graduates early and goes to work for Bueno Nacho, and before too long, is on the fast track to head up their R&D department. This, of course, makes him happier than a bug in a rug. I get my GED and start on some college courses, mostly online, because the kids are still really too young to leave alone, and I'm pretty proprietary about letting other people take care of them. Kim, yes, Bonnie yes, but they have their own lives. _

_Now, I understand that you expect us all to get back to adventure—but let me explain why most super hero/villains are not family people:_

_**Old days:** _

_Ron: Shego, let's go to __Japan_

_Me: OK._

_Ten minutes later, we're ready to go._

_**Now:** _

_Ron: Shego, let's go to the other side of town._

_Me: OK. Did you get the diapers?_

_Ron: I thought you got the diapers—I got the formula._

_Me: Ron, I have the formula—we don't need that much—and we do need diapers._

_Ron: OK, lets turn around…what about the chair?_

_Etc. etc. Long story short, when you have kids… getting across the street in anything less than a day can be a major operation.

* * *

_

_But when the kids are two, Kim and Bonnie _finally_ decide to tie the knot and we are there. Bonnie's sisters are there too, and they're being polite… I don't know why. Maybe they're mellowing…maybe it's because the smartest and the prettiest have had a bit more life under their belts, and found out that sometimes smart and pretty aren't enough. _

_Kim's family is thrilled—even Jim and Tim, who are let off of suspension for the wedding. (Oh, I'm not going to bore you with the story, besides, if you subscribe to any major newspaper, you'll know—it's not often that freshmen manage to create a micro-singularity in a school lab). Mom's crying, and dad's looking happy as anything—although maybe it is because he can finally relax about Kim going out with some boy. He ain't blue, but he's just about as clueless as Dr. D….who also showed up, along with DNAmy—but between us, we managed to convince her that doves with 12 foot wingspans were not the proper gift to bring to a wedding. _

_Not all is roses of course—when the twins are 5, Rufus dies. It was expected—he'd lived a long time past the normal life span of a mole rat, but that doesn't make it any happier. Ron's inconsolable for a while, and so is Kim. I never heard him talk, but the two of them both are convinced he did. So dad's unhappy (and so am I—the little fellow grew on me), and the fact that it was peaceful and inhis sleep really doesn't help. We bury Rufus in a corner of the garden, with Kim and Ron, and a few other friends that remember him. The kids miss their playmate—but I'm not going to suggest a pet, because well, to Ron, he **wasn't** a pet, but a friend. _

_Not to mention that with Ron working and the kids getting close to school, guess who will probably get voted main pet tender? Right, me. _

_So I'm beginning to weaken, as the kids are, a month later (and kids do bounce back quickly—but remember I said they're bright? They're working on mom because they realize dad doesn't really want to hear this right now), working on mommy to get them a dog. _

_Well, Ann wants a horse, and David wants an alligator, but they both will be satisfied with a dog. _

_I don't want a dog. If we're going to get something, let it be a nice, independent cat. _

_Nope. Dog. _

_But I'm rescued, by a lady who shows up one day with a basket full of…_

_You guessed it. _

_Naked Mole Rats. Rufus' progeny. Little fellow was certainly active, and I didn't even know that female mole rates existed, or maybe my brain was censoring some images I just didn't need. But he sure did, from the number of descendants. _

_But the twins are thrilled, Ron's…accepting…_

_And I **still** can't here the little suckers talk. But the kids can—they hold full conversations with them.

* * *

_

_So, for the twins' sixth birthday, we have a lot of fun…and then that night, I confess to Ron that I wouldn't mind another kid. He salutes and tells me that as hard as it will be…he will endeavor to please. I laugh so hard I nearly fall out of bed—you had the see the salute and the very "I will do this, no matter the cost", expression he put on his face to understand. _

_So I'm pregnant again. At least this time the morning sickness is not so bad… and more importantly, I'm looking **forward** to the kid…not dreading the thought. Still scared—you really can't get "unscared" when you figure what you've just decided to do, but not terrified._

_Then, one day, I'm finishing up at college. Now that the kids are beginning school, I can take courses in person instead of online, and it's actually pretty fun. It also gets me out—believe me, while I'm solitary, you can get…pretty cramped and a bit lonely for some adult friendship when you're raising kids. I don't begrudge it, but being able to chat with people my age (or close) is a new experience. Also, given the short memory most people have, the "Evil Shego" is practically forgotten—most people call (and refer to me as), Mrs. Stoppable. It beats them screaming and running for the hills… _

_But then I get a celphone call from Kim's mom. She tells me there's been an accident, in that very calm voice doctors and airplane pilots use when something has gone straight to hell. I get a cold feeling in my stomach, as I hear some people in the hall of the college get quiet—and I see two cops walking towards me. They also have that expression on their face and their voices are very, very calm. _

_Something's happened to Ann. _

_She was out on the playground, and a drunk driver smashed through the fence at 60 MPH, hit her, and bounced her nearly 80 feet into the wall of the school. She's at the hospital now, and I need to come with them **right now.** Ron will be there as well. _

_The teacher and some of the students grab my stuff and promise to bring it. I barely hear them. _

_I barely hear anything as the cops take me to the car. _

_To be continued. _


	8. Chapter VIII

_Remember when I said the chip was like being in hell? It wasn't. I have better comparisons today. Being in hell is sitting in a little waiting room, half trying to peek down the corridor and half not wanting to, while nurses and doctors move back and forth. _

_14 hours of surgery. Broken legs, a broken arm… contusions, brusing… _

_And massive head trauma, which is what is keeping her in that room. Which is why our daughter may not leave it alive. _

_We're all there. Ron, Me, Kim, Bonnie, Hego and the rest… Ron's parents, Kim'sfamily (san's mother who is in the operating room), Dr. D… hell, even Motor Ed and Killigan dropped by. Between us we could probably overturn nations, invent new devices to revolutionize the world…_

_We could do everything except what we have to do. What we desperately want to do. Hego has no stories…he's just sitting, looking desperately lost and afraid, wringing his hands. Jim and Tim aren't making jokes or thinking about inventions. _

_Finally, Dr. Possible comes to us, exhausted, looking older than I've ever seen her. There's blood all over the front of her gown—too much blood for a little girl to have, I think. Ron and I are the first ones to ask, and I have to clear my throat a few times. I don't want to ask. _

_Because than I'll have to accept the answer, and that this isn't some nasty nightmare that I'll wake up from.__ She takes us to an empty office and sits us down. I can feel Ron's hand's covering my own, but nothing else. Then Dr. Lisa Possible starts telling us what has happened. _

_They had to crack open the skull, because Ann's brain had been badly bruised and was expanding inside the bone, the tissue being crushed. There were also some ruptured blood vessels in the brain, and her heart stopped three times while they were operating. Two of her ribs were broken, not by the drunk, but by the paramedics trying to restart her heart on the way to the hospital. _

_Right now, she's still under sedation, but Dr. Possible believes that she'll be in a coma state…for some time. How long she can't know…and I can see she hates to say this, but she tells us that we might want to start considering long term care if she doesn't come out of it. _

_Ron asks if she can tell us what the probability of that is, and Dr. Possible shakes her head. She can't. She can tell us that the longer the coma goes on, the more likely it is to be permanent, but that it's impossible to say for sure—they'll have to run tests on her. _

_I ask if we can see her, and she nods…reluctantly. She tells us we can't go in, because of the danger of secondary infection right now, but we can look._

_And she warns us it won't be pretty. _

_Ann's in there, at least the parts we can see. Her face is partially exposed, with bandages on it, and her body is nearly invisible under tubes and wires and sensors and things I can't even tell what they are, and the skin we can see is black and blue from the bruising. Her eyes are closed, and her scalp is bare—they had to shave her head when they opened it up. _

_Right now, she's not breathing on her own. She may never breath on her own. I nod and calmly walk to the ladies bathroom. There's nobody in it, and it's sound proofed, and I scream and let the fire come to my hands for the first time in years. _

_When I walk out, five minutes later, the room has been completely destroyed. _

_We go back… and by common agreement, leave home and move into one of the small apartments the hospital maintains for such situations. David comes with us, but he also spends time with the Possible's, Aunt Kim and Bonnie and Ron's parents. _

_He's started wetting the bed again and crying a lot, but Dr. Possible tells me that's normal for a sibling in this situation and arranges him to meet with a child psychologist. I try to avoid snapping at him. It's not his fault. I shouldn't take out my rage and fear on our son. _

_Weeks pass, and there is little change. I learn more things than I ever wanted to know—about how you have to move an unconscious person, or the bed sores will develop and secondary infections can set in. About how if there is no exercise, calcium can be leached out of bones until they have the consistency of cardboard. About how catheters and respirators have to be changed regularly…and about how my brief joy when she starts breathing on her own turns to fear…as Dr. Possible tells me that autonomic responses don't mean she'll come out of it. _

_She does have response on EEG and activity on the various brain scans. I don't know what terrifies me more, that Ann may be gone, or she may be trapped in there, screaming for mommy and daddy. _

_Her teacher appears, nearly unable to speak with guilt and sorrow. I wish I could hate her. It would make things easier…but what was she supposed to do. Read the future? I've been trying to do that enough myself. If I just hadn't let her go to school…_

_The drunk? A broken arm and a busted nose. Nothing else…not even as bad as his last three DUI's…for him, that is. _

_I read her favorite stories to her. She doesn't respond. I talk to her about her friends, and Ron comes in and tells jokes to her, and we both strain to see any sign that she's waking up, in that hateful room full of beeping machines. Other people bring flowers and cards and stuffed toys. Once, Ron Is speaking to the doctors and I can't finish a story to her, because I.._

_I…_

_Anyway. That's when I look up and Bonnie and Kim are there. Kim takes me to another room, and just holds me while Bonnie starts reading where I left off. _

_Then one day, Kim's mom asks us the question that is the hardest…which is why she's asking it and nobody else. _

_Do we want her rescitated if her heart stops? There's no garuntee that she'll ever wake up, and, we have to start considering that. We can't answer. _

_Oh God. _

_No. Hell with you God. Is this some kind of payback? For me? I'm right here, God, you want to screw with me, why don't you get your aim right?_

_Oh God. Don't let this be because of me. Not my baby. _

_At night, I roll over in bed and put my back to Ron. I know it hurts him… but I can't…_

_I don't want him to see me cry myself to sleep, and I try to keep it quiet.

* * *

_

_But one day… I see her eyes twitch. I don't do anything, just hold my breath. It's been nearly three weeks. Her eyes twitch and open and they roll around for a minute, before looking at me. _

_Looking at _me_. She doesn't have the breathing tube anymore, and Ron is leaning forward and asks her with that grin in his voice (and what a good actor he is), if she's slept enough, because she still isn't getting out of school. _

_And she speaks. Her voice is rusty, but she's talking. She's asking us where is the bedroom. _

_We… We don't say anything for a second. What if this is some dream? What if speaking will wake us up? Then Dr. Possible is in the room and chatting with our daughter, and suddenly the floodgates for Ron and I are opened and we're laughing and crying and it's hard to tell which is which. _

_Later, Dr. Possible explains to us that it looks like Ann has a gap in her memory, which isn't uncommon, but that there may be other long term effects—which we'll have to wait and see about. I nod._

_Ann will do well. While she might have needed long term care, I couldn't do this. But I swore that when she got better…or died, I would do this. I go back home. _

_The suit is tight around my hips and ass, and tight around my chest, but I can still make it fit. That's good. This isn't a mommy thing…or Ron's wife… or anything. _

_Shego is back, and that bastard is going to pay, pay in blood for every bit of pain he's inflicted on my daughter. I'll take out even second of agony on Ann's part on his body. I have just the little abandoned lair in mind that will let us be…uninterrupted. _

_Then I hear the door open…and there's Ron. He puts his hands on my shoulder and mentions the suit still fits me well…then drops them to my belly, slightly swollen with the pregnancy, and asks if they're on board with this as well. I don't say anything and he sighs and continues. _

_He already had to say this to Kim he mentions… And tells me that I may hate him after this…but he has to do it. _

_And he asks me the hardest thing he has ever asked me. _

_The one thing that I beg him not to ask me._

_The one thing that proves just how much I love this man._

_He asks me to…for my daughter, for David…for him… to give up my vengeance. _

_That's when I beg him to not ask that. He puts his hands on my shoulders, and tells me he wishes he didn't have to…but my children need me…and my unborn needs me too…not on the run, not in jail…but here. He leansinto meand I put my hand to his face and feel the moisture of the tears on my fingers, as he says that he needs me to._

_And he asks me to not let this man hurt our family again. _

_For a second I wonder if he knows what he's asking. I never let the smallest offense pass when I was working for Dr. D, and this man…this man has done more to me than anyone ever dreamed of. He hurt my **baby.** Then I look into his eyes and see the same smoldering rage in them that I know is in mine, and I realize that Ron had to make this decision himself…and it was just as hard as this one is for me. _

_I tell him to leave me alone for a day. He nods. I've hurt him, I can see. But I can't be around anyone right now. I can't risk saying what I might say, with the hatred bubbling up around me. I spend the day, staring at walls. _

_Then I put the suit away. . Standing naked inour room, I look at it. Part of me wants to get it back. _

_But I can't._

_Because Ron's right. Damn him. _

_Because Ron's right…and never leave me, please. _

_And if you can figure out how you can have both those thoughts at the very same time, then you're beginning to realize just how strange marriage—and love—can be. _

_To be continued. _


	9. Chapter IX

_OK, in the movie of the week, Ann would be doing fine after a week and we'd have a nice family scene right in time to roll the credits. _

_You've never dealt with an injury like this. Ann's legs are in braces, and she is bald from the surgery (they kept her shaved because they had to open her up once or twice after the main procedure), and she's afraid of going to sleep and flinches at the sound of a horn. She also has nightmares. _

_And she's in a lot of pain. You can only give a small child so much in the way of painkillers, and if she still hurts, too bad. Ron and I spend a lot of nights just holding her in our arms like we did when she was much younger, singing her to sleep as she tries to keep from crying. It's especially hard when she says she's sorry for being such a baby. _

_She isn't being a baby, in case you were stupid enough to ask._

_But we don't know if she'll ever be able to walk without assistance again, although at least her mind has come out intact. She gets upset when people see her really short hair, and so one day Ron shows up with a ridiculous hat and tells our daughter that he wore it to work but they said it wasn't dress code, so can she wear it for him? And he did, too—wear it to work, I mean. _

_God I love Ron. _

_David's also helping all he can, which in a kid his age often translates out to "more work for mom and dad", but I'm not going to complain. He needs to feel like he can do something, even if the words "I made lunch, Mommy" can still cause me to twitch.

* * *

_

_But I almost break my word to Ron. Ann's with Bonnie, and David's at school, and Ron, Kim and I go to the court case for the man who almost murdered my daughter. I figure I'm doing fine, my eyes boring a hole in his back, until he gets on the stand. That's when he mentions that it wasn't his fault, he was really drunk and trying to get home. She should have heard him coming._

_Have you ever had the world go red with rage? Or had your ears get so full of a roaring sound you can't hear anything else? _

_I did. _

_Suddenly, Kim has me around the waist and Ron has me by the shoulders and I'm halfway over the chairs, heading for him. I'm not even using martial arts or my fire—that won't work. I want to feel his flesh tear under my bare hands. Thank God the bailiff didn't get to me, because Kim and Ron were the **only** people I wouldn't have killed on my way to him. _

_They get me out and I almost catch a contempt of court, but the judge doesn't like drunks either and he simply flat out asks me in chambers (after the chaos is ended) can I trust myself to not do that again. _

_I can't. It's unfair, but Ron has to sit there and listen to him make excuses. _

_What happened to him? Guilty, 50 years in jail, 40 of which he'll serve before parole kicks in. Ask me if I care. I want the thing I can't have, which is my daughter back like she was before he hit her.

* * *

_

_But Ann is trying to do better—and we have a special physical therapist. You know her. _

_Aunt Bonnie. _

_And she's a better choice than either me or Kim. See, Bonnie isn't a natural. Kim and I, well we're physical naturals. Hell, look at how well Kim did at cheerleading even though half the time she was fighting me—and how well she did fighting me when she was spending half her time cheerleading. Call it what you want, both of us were able to do more, for less cost, than just about anyone in the world._

_And that doesn't leave us…prepared for those who aren't. _

_Bonnie _wasn't_ a natural. She was, in fact, a bit of a klutz—and her sisters made fun of her for it. _

_So when Bonnie talks about 12 years of intensive training, she means it. Not 12 years of getting up, doing it for an hour, and hitting the showers, but 12 years of working morning, going to school, working at night, and biting your lip the next morning because you want to cry it hurts so bad…before you go and do it all over again._

_Her mom seems nice, but God, she was so amazingly clueless. I'm surprised Bonnie wasn't even more screwed up—and when I found that little tidbit out, it didn't take a genius to understand why she was so envious of Kim. Kind of like the way the pauper might feel hearing the rich man laugh about how easy it was to pay for that fifty dollar meal. _

_But anyway, Bonnie understands pain, in a way Kim and I can't, especially this kind of pain. That's why she's working to become a pediatric physical therapist, and she's willing to put off her graduation a year to work with Ann. _

_Dr. Possible finds out and that doesn't fly—Ann simply becomes part of her course work. _

_But don't forget that Bonnie didn't know that when she offered. _

_Well, it works pretty good—at first Ann doesn't want to, because she loves Aunt Bonnie but is a little ashamed to be seen like this, but Bonnie handles that by showing her some of the pictures of **Bonnie** at her age and telling stories about how she was always falling over and knocking things down. _

_That costs her, even today, I see. Ann can't, but a few times, I see Aunt Bonnie's hand, needing to find Aunt Kim's for support.

* * *

_

_So Ann starts work with Bonnie. Beginning with "getting up" to "walking five feet without falling" to being able to walk around the room._

_It's painful. Very painful. You want to run and grab her, but you can't, because she'll never get better that way. So you wait, and you watch, and you congratulate her, and try and massage the pain out of her legs, and rub the special ointment in… while you're also taking care of David, who is a small child as well, and preparing for the new twins. (yep, Ron did it again). Her pet Rufus descendant, who she calls 'Ufus, sleeps with her every night, and walks with her. _

_So she gets better. It's a slow process. When the twins are born (identical girls), she's still limping. Bonnie thinks she's doing a thousand percent better, but she's still limping, and that produces a…well arg-no, not argument, between Ron and I. I'll tell you. _

_See, one thing we decided, from before the first two were born, was that we **do not lie** to our children. Both Ron and I had problems with that. So we don't—we don't put the cold hard truth out there brutally. ("Yes, you can pray and Grandma will hear you," rather than "no, she's dead")_

_Well, Ann wants to be a cheerleader like Aunt Kim or Aunt Bonnie…or maybe a mascot like daddy. Right now I have no clue if she's going to be able to walk across the street. _

_Then one day I come in from shopping, and Ron's in the living room with the twins (Sharon and Claire), David and Ann…and he's telling Ann what a good cheerleader she'll be. _

_OK. Right now, I have no clue if Ann will _ever_ be a cheerleader. And Ron's telling her she will be. Not might, will. _

_We are going to talk. After dinner, after Ann and David's homework and Ann's exercises. _

_So I go stalking into the kitchen when everyone's asleep, and there's Ron, not moving a lot, his hands on the counter edge. I get ready to talk (not bellow, because Kid's have a sixth sense about when mom and dad are arguing and it freaks them out). I open my mouth to have our quiet, but very serious talk, when I notice that his shoulders are trembling…and I can see drops falling into the sink. _

_He's crying. _

_Suddenly, I lose all my irritation and anger, and just cross and put my hands on his shoulders. _

_Ron tells me he knows why I'm pissed. I'm right. He shouldn't have said that. She may never be able to do that. He takes a deep breath and continues._

_But she wants it so **much.** He says. He just couldn't bear to break her heart and tell her anything other than a yes. He closes his mouth then. Men hate it when they get a catch in their throat. _

_I don't say anything for a while, just hold him, feeling the trembling in his body. Ron's always the joker, the laugher. I'm the one who gets angry and has to go out into the garden and who sometimes has to censor myself three times. He just doesn't have the capacity for anger I do. _

_And that's what makes him my love, and has helped keep our family together. _

_But everyone has their limits. _

_I just put my arms around him and lean into his back. Ron's filled out over the years, and he's taller than me. _

_I tell him to come with me, and we walk back into the living room, and I just pull him down to the couch with me and we hold each other. _

_He looks at me, waiting for me to hit him with the "we do not lie" snark, and I just kiss him and tell him that I know why he did it. I know how much he loves our children. I try to smile and it comes out half way, when I let him know that we'll just have to help Ann make certain this promise comes true. _

_And then we hug as the night passes. We don't talk. There isn't much to say, beyond how much we love each other, and we don't **need**, to say that. _

_To be continued. _


	10. Chapter X

_Ann slowly improves. The need for a wheelchair on long excursions starts to go away, as much because Ann doesn't want it as because she doesn't need it. Aunt Bonnie and Aunt Kim and everyone else gives her encouragement. _

_But it takes a while. On my 33rd birthday, Ann manages to go the whole day without limping or needing the chair, and tells me that she wanted to show me she could do it and wouldn't quit. _

_That wasn't the physical gift, but that was the biggest gift of the day. So big that mommy had to go to the ladies room to wash some cake off her face. That's it. Got some in her eyes too. That's why she didn't come back for a few minutes. _

_David's growing like a weed, but he's a bit more…scholarly than Ann, which surprises both Ron and I, because neither one of us was what you'd call the book learning type. He's working at a 4th grade level in the fields he doesn't like…a lot more in the fields he does like._

_This leads to some problems. Number one, the Tweebs (hey, I'm evil, and I can steal Kimmie's names), Dr. D, and Dr. Dementor have a very loose grasp of the concept of "Age appropriate toys and activities". Normally I wouldn't care, but Mommy does not want to be woken up at __2:30 AM__ finding out that, no, Dr. D wasn't joking and yes, our child did clone the mini-Tyrannosaurus Rex that is rampaging downstairs. _

_Not only would it wreck the house, it would wake Sharon and Clair. It's hard enough to get them both asleep at once. So we have very serious discussions with all concerned, about the idea of clearing any potentially world destroying toys with mom and dad. _

_I can hear you asked, "Dr. Dementor?" Well, he's nuts like the whole breed, but you'll notice they tend to sabatoge themselves a lot. I think he also considers our kids honorary villains. Sometimes I do too…when they're playing, but the house is quiet…too quiet. _

_More seriously sometimes Ann gets scared—nightmares of screeching tires and darkness, and she comes into our room at night. David's rarer, but he sometimes does to. This quickly causes us to realize why most parents wear bedclothesand mom needs to keep a robe handy…and why sometimes the bedroom Olympics get curtailed a little. Nothing brings the activities to a crashing halt like a confused: "Mommy?"_

_Not to mention the fact that one should always be ready to handle the younger twins, who have built in "mommy and daddy would prefer not to be disturbed" sensors. _

_But we continue—and on their 5th anniversary, Kim and Bonnie inform us that Bonnie is expecting. How? It's an artificial process, and ask Kim's mom if you want more detail than I _really_ needed. Bonnie's glowing, Kim is veering between happy and terrified. Kim's also getting her job with the Middleton NetDaily, as a news reporter. Well, she's had it for a while, but when she broke the textbook scandal, they gave her her lead with investigative reporting—which makes Bonnie happy, because Kim can do the crusading thing without having to deal with the slings and arrows of outrageous laser cannons.

* * *

_

_Now I'm going to tell you something. _

_The exciting—the incredibly exciting events of a family are often boring as dirt to anyone not there. The jokes about slide shows of our trip to __Yellowstone__ aren't jokes—they're true. You don't have the context. It wasn't your kid feeding the deer at the petting zoo and getting huge eyes. _

_It's sad to say, but Ann in the hospital was a lot more interesting for people who weren't her parents—A blow by blow of Ann's first talent show would make you want to drive red hot spikes through your eyes even when Ron and I are either giggling or getting misty eyes about the memory. When you have children you'll understand. _

_So, there's going to be a lot of…dead air over the next several years. _

_Ann gets older and doesn't have much to show for her injury. She'll **always** have to work a little harder than her friends to get to the same place, but she understands that. She's really, really attached to Aunt Bonnie. More so than Kim, who David seems to glom on to more. _

_At nine years of age, when I'm 34, the kids get a new funny show—Mom has to get glasses. Remember the comet power? Yeah, it helps me heal, and may have partially helped Ann to heal, we can't be certain. But it has a down side. _

_See, it'll heal trauma…but equally, it also heals trauma we don't want it to…like laser eye surgery. Three wasted attempts and I realize that my far sightedness is now a companion I'd better get used to. So I get a pair of reading glasses._

_Yes. _

_Me. _

_Shego. Reading Glasses. Little glasses I have to take out of my pocket (and I am **not** putting them around my neck like some grand mother), when I want to do a lot of reading. I can do a little without them, but too much and my eyeballs want to jump out and run for the hills. _

_Ron is very supportive. He doesn't laugh. The potential maiming has nothing to do with it, because he's my husband and he loves me, even when Shego is really getting pissy in an illogical way about the perfectly natural process of aging._

_**Glasses.**_

_Bleh. _

_I also finish my college work and now have to figure out what to do with my brand new BA. Can't be full time, since the twins are still only two, but I want to do something. _

_So I find myself getting a job at Middleton High. _

_Yes, **that** school. Seems they've been having some problems with students, and the last few VP's in charge of student relations have dropped the ball. Steve Barkin thinks I may be the one. _

_OK, I can do this part time, and I'll even promise not to blast some smart mouth through the wall. Then I find out I'm having to read so many papers that it makes sense to put the eyeglasses on a lanyard._

_Tanj. And I can't get contact lenses, because of the nature of my farsightedness. Double Tanj. _

_Ron, the Rat, is 26 and just getting better. He's also regional director for Bueno Nacho now, which most of his friends expected. He's happy as anything, and is working on getting more market penetration. No glasses there… He's also just as good as he ever was in some other areas, but ahem, that's none of your business. _

_Of course, happy day, the older pair of kids are now old enough for chores. Mostly weeding and cleaning the house, but I explain to them, with a big smile, that right now is when they get to pay mommy back for that little traffic jam on the way out nearly ten years ago. _

_They point out it wasn't their fault, but magnanimously agree to do chores… for an allowance. The point out that willing workers get a lot more done._

_Ohhhh…sneaky. I knew they were my kids.

* * *

_

_At school, I establish some proper ground rules. _

_1. Shego is right._

_2. Shego is **always** right._

_3. Do not even think of trying to out sneaky Shego. _

_First thing I do is scrap the last VP's, "Sunshine program"—yes, she was giving happy face stickers to 17 year olds on their way to college, or the USMC. These ain't five year olds. I manage to get the lunch period increased to one hour and let Barkin know what I'm going to do. _

_Those kids with no discipline problems get off campus permits and the full lunch period. The others get 40 minutes and a 20 minute mini-study hall. You work with me, I can make your life much easier. Wanna play screw-up, we can play that game too. _

_I also stomp on our little incipient drug problem too. Show up at a locker, open it (and yes, school officials can), find the baggie idiot stashed in said locker and wait for him to drop by. I do this on lunch break. I tell him that I'm not on duty, so as a concerned citizen, I can give him some good advice—which is walk right into the office, call mom and dad, with me listening, and let them know he needs some help._

_If he doesn't like plan "A", I can wait until lunch is over, call in Barkin, the cops, and flush his college career down the toilet, because at that point it'll be in school records. _

_I also tell him this is a one time only deal—don't count on such an offer if I **ever** see him bringing something like this to school again… and I've dealt with pro's so don't think he can figure a way to fool me. He's a junky and the definition of junkystupid, which is why I noticed him nearly walking into walls today._

_He, and a few others, take the deal. The off campus fellow who was dealing doesn't get a deal. He falls down a flight of stairs and breaks several bones, in addition to having his stock laying around him when the cops showed up.

* * *

_

_Ron gives me the eye that night, and I just point out that the stairs are slippery there, and it wasn't on campus, and why is he looking at me like that. I would **never** do such a thing, I say. _

_Then I see the kids looking at me over their dinner. Even the little ones are looking at me. Ron tells the children that he believes his wife. They look at him like "are you an idiot?" and he smiles back at them. _

_That night he mentions that a flight of stairs was pretty clichéd to whoever did it, and I point out that sometimes the old ways are best….and as of now, Middleton High is, if not drug free, very close to it.

* * *

_

_Now, Ann and David are 10, Clair and __Sharon__ are five going on six, and I discover Ron's mutant power. _

_Alright, this was our idea again. One last kid. The high school has a day care center next to it, so yes, we can do this._

_One more kid. _

_No. Ron's mutant power kicks in. _

_Yep, you guessed it. His mutant power is that when he gets Shego pregnant, it'll be twins. Just in time for Ann and David's 10th birthday, we have two more kids. _

_OK. That's it. I love my husband dearly, I love our children…but I think that now is the time to quit while we're ahead. He points out we are ahead—of everyone he knows, in fact. I grab him by the ear and convince him that we have enough of a lead that we can stay ahead. _

_Six kids. At least we've spaced them out properly. _

_And the scary thing is I'm so used to twins I'm not even bothered by it. _

_To be continued. _


	11. CHapter XI

Authors notes:

Shegos comet power: In this timeline, Shego's comet power doesn't heal all wounds—just those that are physically traumatic and not natural to her bodies aging process. Shego's eye problem is an inherited trait, and thus her comet power simply sees it as a "natural" change, just as it does the fact that her hair grows. This also relates to her aging—many of the common problems of aging are minimized, but her cells will eventually experience aging and death. Shego will have a long life, one free of many problems others experience, but she _will_ die one day.

* * *

_Now before we go any further, I wish to state, for the record: NO MORE KIDS. Six is enough, in fact we have the nucleus of a gang going. I love my children. I love them so much I'll even forgive them for all the things they're going to do to drive mommy crazy. (And even the babies who aren't yet born will, trust __me.__ Okay?). _

_But right now, I'll be fifty two when the last pair turn 18. Nope, no more. I keep to that pledge. _

_Which makes me feel really idiotic a few years later, as we're going through all the baby and toddler equipment we're not going to need and trying to figure out what to put out for the trash and what to give away. I **don't** want any more kids, so why am I getting upset at the fact that the cribs and other gear isn't going to be used anymore, and I **really** can't handle the idea of just dumping it. _

_Fortunately, by that time, Kim and Bonnie have number two, and Monique and Felix are married, as is Brick and __Tara__. Between 'em all, we manage to send most of the stuff to where it will be used. For some reason, that's important. _

_Oh! Kim! Vengeance is sweet. Seriously, you should hear all the calls Kim gave me when Bonnie was pregnant and after. Shego, Bonnie hates me! Shego, Bonnie just burst into tears when I said she was glowing! Shego, Bonnie trapped me in the bathroom and ravished me and then went out and ate a pickle, icecream and baloney sandwich! It got better after the tyke (a little girl, pretty as anything, named Andrea), was born, which was when we got into the: Shego! The kid just exploded! Shego, she soils a diaper the minute I put it on!_

_Ahem. Girl who can do anything proved that—she can have a dandy nervous breakdown. I don't laugh—much. Fortunately, her mom keeps my secret that I said about the same things to her. Their relationship does have one advantage though—Bonnie has informed Kim that the next kid will be coming out of her. Which is fine by me—in any case, Kim's just finished her fourth Net-Novel…although she doesn't have her name on it. Claims it would be unfair to trade on her notoriety. I think she's just going for the whole "mysterious mystery writer"—and it is working. They've all had Gold Downloads. _

_Ahem, anyway, back in the present, we're a fairly jumping house hold. **Six **kids, both parents working, one part time—yeah, jumping is the word and not in a sexual tense. David and Ann are just of the age where they are having their own existence, which means screams to mom that David is hogging the bathroom. _

_We have four bathrooms. _

_Nope, her **special** brush is in that bathroom. Yep. The 49 cent brush, identical to every other brush, but without it, she can't be seen in public. _

_You know how you hear parents counting down in public and wonder at such a stupid way of getting across to your kids? Believe me, it serves a purpose. First, you give the kid time to reconsider a **bad** idea. Second, when this is happening in the morning and you are late, and they are late, and Ron's on a business trip, and you really **really** don't need this… It gives you a chance to take a deep breath and calm yourself, without looking like it to them…much. You don't want to fool them completely though—nothing like realizing mom is about to get royally pissed to cause siblings to come to terms quickly. _

_Fortunately, they don't do that often. Clair and Sharon don't' do it very often at all—as twins, they're occupied confusing the heck out of everyone else. Both of 'em have Ron's humor and my snark, which even at five sometimes makes me wonder why nobody ever strangled me as a kid. They go to the same school Ann and David did—now the fence is rebuilt so you couldn't slam through it with a tank, and I owe the teacher a sign that we really don't blame her._

_And she was a good teacher, and I am **not** going to let that SOB run our lives even from prison.

* * *

_

_Some times life crawls and sometimes it moves really fast. All of a sudden David is getting interested in girls and Ann is getting interested in boys and trying to figure out how to ask mom about a bra without dying of embarrassment. She decides to ask dad about the boys thing. Ron's always been more easy going than I have, and he handles it… as can be expected._

_Of course, that means that night, he's staring up at the ceiling, his mind in reset as he's considering the fact that if Ann is getting interested in **boys** it means **boys** might be getting interested in Ann…in a non-Platonic way. When I point out that she's thirteen, he groans and covers his face with a pillow. I take advantage and kinda conform my body to his, the bedclothes doing very little to cushion our respective assets, and ask him is he really that upset?_

_I get another groan. _

_Oh yeah, Ronald Stoppable is 30, and is realizing his little girl is growing up. I start hitting him with images of backseats and __midnight__ rendezvouses. His eyes are bugging out and I'm laughing when suddenly I stop dead. _

_Holy Crap. _

_This is our** daughter** I'm talking about. _

_OK, I did not just have a near freak out over our daughter doing what every teenager does. She knows about the birds and the bees…_

_Mrph. It may be a good idea to have some talks with her and David…about how difficult their early arrival made things. Just in case they…_

_No dammit. That won't work, because without them, there wouldn't have been **us.** _

_See kids, it worked out well for us, but don't you do it? Gah. I can see the holes in that argument a mile away. _

_Now Ron's looking at me grinning and I realize that as usual, the rat can read my face like an open book. _

_He suggests that we just watch any friends she has—and make certain their the proper type of man for our daughter… like they eat at Bueno Nacho. _

_I start laughing and thump my head on his chest. Thanks Ron. _

_Believe me, when you're a type A personality that gets crabby easily… a husband who makes you laugh is a big, big, plus.

* * *

_

_Of course David is mainly interested in technology, computers, things that go beep, or boom, depending on his mood. Tutored by Wade, Professor Posible, the Tweebs, Drakken and Dementor, he'll probably be rich, or the cause of the end of human civilization as we know it. _

_He also goes to school. Yes, I know, everyone of his mentors wailed at that, but sorry guys, none of you are the best role models. I must be crazy but Kim's Dad and The Tweebs come closest (and the Tweebs are already running their own company—well, their girlfriends are running it, leaving them to do the mad scientist bit), because they also did stuff outside the lab, but Drakken and Dementor? Uh-nuh. Wade, double Uh-nuh—there's a life beyond the Global-Web. Fortunately, David also likes sports…and kicking everyone (including dad's) ass at any computer game ever invented._

_Ann meets her boys, and breaks up with them. Some go well, some don't go well—and everyone has a first time when their heart is broken (or more dramatically, ripped out stomped on and tossed into the fire place). She comes bursting in the front door, sobbing, and heads up to her room. _

_Cue for mom. _

_Yes, I know. It happens to us all. In a month, she'll be over it. Uh-huh, you can take your logic out the door, and don't try that on your kid. Right **now** the one she imagined in her mind as being **the** one, has hurt her, and she doesn't know why she can't just flip him off and leave, or why he's acting like she hurt **him** just as badly. _

_That'll come with age. But some lessons… hurt. She doesn't need homilies of how she'll look back and shrug…she needs someone to just sit by her and listen, or even hold her if she's hurt too bad. So that's what I do. _

_That's what moms do. _

_To be continued. _


	12. Chapter XII

_Well, I'm 39 now, Ann and David are 14, and guess what?_

_Barkin finally decided to retire, leaving everyone's favorite mom in charge. Turns out that was why he hired me in the first place—to see if I'd work out. _

_Well, I'm not one to complain. The work's full time and harder, but hey, it's interesting. _

_Ron's not so certain. He points out that Barkin is bald as a cueball. I point out that occurred because of the Tweebs—his hair had started to go gray by the end of the first day they showed up, started falling out the second time they created life (carnivorous, amorphous life) in the biology lab, and was completely gone by the talent show. _

_Hey, you try dealing with a "dancing robot" that was built up from a mad scientists' destructo bot… that remembers its core programming midway through act II. _

_Especially since the Tweebs left the weapons in. I understand that only the flaming chainsaw exhibition came close to it. _

_So Barkie is off enjoying himself, training bomb squad members. He says its relaxing. Ron wonders if I'm going to lose my hair. _

_I say no. _

_He hands me a box with a wig in it, just in case. _

_Oh ye of little faith._

_But I don't throw the wig away. _

_Just in case.

* * *

_

_But I do have fun—some of it in torturing my children. Now, the twins (identical) are just about ten, and the younger pair (fraternal twins again, Shiela and Michael), are five, and we spend more time going to the beach and other places. _

_How is this torture?_

_OK. Mom and Dad have had six children, now, as far as the teen set goes, that means we should now become properly behaved parents—I.E., sexless. _

_Sorry kids, that **ain't** gonna happen. You should have guessed that the first time you came into the living room and saw us making out. Terrible trauma, that. _

_So you can guess the reaction when I mention we could go to a clothing optional beach. David and Ann both blanch at the image of mom and dad flaunting their aged bodies and even…_

_I really shouldn't laugh at the expression on my kids face. _

_So we go to a normal beach. We get out of the van, we get dressed, Ann is happy because Mom is wearing a jogging suit. Then we get onto the beach and I remove said suit. _

_Wow… Ron's eyes can still bug out…especially when you're talking about a very small bikini…with a mesh top. See daughter, I didn't go topless, so you don't have any reason to make those groaning noise, or look horrified when you see some of your friends. _

_Oh, you're going to jog a little? All the way to the tip of __South America_

_Have fun dear…dad and I will just…_

_Bye. _

_Kid baiting…as long as you don't over do it, it can be the hobby that just keeps on giving.

* * *

_

_Of course, the younger two help in another hobby. _

_OK, I'm vain. So it does me good that when Ron's off getting something, I get hit on by a pair of… twenty-something college students. _

_Oh yes, this is going to be fun. They're trying to impress me, when Shiela and Michael show up, and I start out with my best trailer trash voice impression and tell the two kids that these nice men want to be their daddy until daddy gets back from jail. _

_Have you ever seen a rat come face to face with a king cobra?_

_Then you have some grounds for comparison. I'm waiting to see if they'll do the honorable thing and politely disengage, or just run screaming for the hills. They manage to do the first. Sheila points out that wasn't very **nice** mommy. I point out it was fun. The two look at each other and I realize I am going to pay for this—probably the next time they do something wrong, they'll point out that it was **also** fun. _

_Sigh. Well, it was worth it. _

_Ron comes back with snow cones for everyone (except the teens who are probably down around __Baja California__ by now) and Clair and Sharon are helping the younger two make Barad Dur in sand castle form. They're also using a gadget the Tweebs gave them to solidify sand…so it stays intact. Those two are kinda the insidious fusion of Ann and David— more middle of the road, rather than fixing on one area. I wonder if it's because they didn't have the trauma Ann and David did—of mom and dad having to spend time with Ann, so David found himself on his own maybe more than he should have…although like I said, I tried to make certain he was more rounded than Wade or Drakken. _

_I shake my head while I finish my snow cone. "If only" or "I should have" are a losers game. You can't. If you remember you did the best you could, count yourself lucky.

* * *

_

_My 39th year also has me wanting to Strangle Ann at the same time I want to hug her. _

_We let Ann and David study late at the university library. It's open late, and they know to call us to come get them, or have Dr. D or the Tweebs (who work around there) drive them home. Not always, but a fair amount. _

_OK. One day, Ann really wants to study. Should have noted the warning signs. David's there, Clair and Sharon are at a friends house for a sleep over, and Michael and Sheila are at Aunt Kim's and Bonnie's. (another sleep over). After the library closes, Ann and David will spend the night at Tim's house. We've extracted a promise—no playing with violational nanotechnology. _

_In case you were dense, this is part of "operation get the kids out of the house" for mom and dad, just like we do the same for Kim and Bonnie, Monique…you name it. It allows the parents to go and eat at nice place—one that doesn't have a kiddie menu, have sweet moments at home…chase each around the house in nothing but a smile…_

_You get the picture. _

_So we're coming home from dinner. _

_And I get a call. From Ann. With non-library music in the background. She's at a friends house, for a party…and something's not right. Could we pick her up right now, **please?**_

_Uh-huh. Ann's lied to us. Not good. Ann knows it's not good. Actually she knows she'll probably be grounded until the heat death of the universe. _

_If not longer. _

_And she's still called us. Not a friend, not Kim, not the Tweebs, or Dr. D…but Us. _

_Because something's not right. _

_Teleportation wouldn't be as fast. _

_Also, you wouldn't believe how many scenarios you can spin in five minutes—each one worse than the one before. _

_So we get to the house…and there are kids in the front yard. Lots of kids. _

_Most of them churfing up everything in their stomachs. Ron grins and mentions that it's been a while since we've been to a four alarm party… and almost as quickly, his eyes narrow along with mine._

_There are **way** too many kids out there barfing to be explained by someone not being tolerant of alcohol. _

_OK. Now, Ron and I are both qualified EMT's. We had to learn most of it before Ann, when we were busily engaged patching ourselves, and/or others up, and we learned the rest taking care of Ann. We have a medical kit in the back, not one of those 4.95 bandage packets you pick up at Smarty Mart. Full computer diagnostics, military spec drug packages, the whole bit. _

_Never do things by halves, I say. _

_Now, Ann's in the front, looking scared, but not sick and she runs up and tells us that everything was going fine and then all of a sudden people started barfing. She's really sorry she di-_

_Ron cuts her off, tells her we'll talk about **that** later, but right now, call the cops and the paramedics, and is everyone like this?_

_No. She says, some people got freaked and went home. Ron tells her after she calls the paramedics, get a head count of exactly **who** went home so they can be called. _

_There's a half empty paper cup of booze, and I give it the finger taste test. _

_Blegh. Moonshine, and probably a lot higher proof than anyone here was used to. Ann didn't drink, bless her. If someone who didn't know what they were doing distilled it..._

_Well, the first thing to do in this situation is to insure no more booze is absorbed, which means removing it from the stomach. Now, in the year of our lord 2020, medical kits have a gadget for that— you slap it on, and 10 seconds later, the neural impulses cause the mother of all chuckings to occur. Everyone gets told to line up. One girl who is a member of the cheerleading team and showing signs of intoxication mentions that is gross. I give her my death glare and mention:_

_Being blind is **hell** on a cheerleading career. Soon she's joined the ranks of the chucking. In the front yard. _

_Humiliating? You bet. Maybe they'll think twice in the future. I'm not into "drink is evil", but in this case, stupidity might have equaled dead. _

_And I can't think of many more pathetic, useless ways to go than drinking yourself to death. _

_So anyway, we've finished, made a run through the house to make certain nobody passed out in a bedroom. _

_We do interrupt a junior and his obviously best girlfriend. They panic—I mean, you're busily doing the deed, and the next thing you know the lights are on, and Shego—the lady who gave you detention for being late last week is staring down at you?_

_Hey, I was busy. I just told them I hoped they were using protection and by the way, cops, firefighters and probably parents are going to be landing any minute now, so if they didn't drink anything, they might consider bugging out the back door _right_ now. _

_Amazing how fast kids can move. I shake my head—hopefully those two will find a better place next time._

_What? Oh right, tell their parents. Uh-nuh. First of all, I'm there as a parent, not an official. Secondly, if I expect these kids to confide in me on the big things—like my boyfriend smacks me around, but I'm such an ugly slut nobody else will have anything to do with me (and yes, that's happened), I have to respect their privacy. To damned many adults seem to think that you can tell a kid about honesty and all that bull…and you're free to toss it aside the minute you think you can gain something by it. Then they wonder why some kids don't learn "the right lessons." _

_They do, just not the lessons you expected. _

_Anyway, so the fire fighters are rolling up, and we've got a list of those with the highest BA levels, which means they get to have their blood filtered. (You wouldn't **believe** how far medical science has gotten—things you could only do in a hospital back in the 90's are now standard procedure for EMT's and medics.). Others, with the exception of the two love birds, get detained while the cops contact their parents, and make certain nobody who was seriously drunk decamped. Ann's list helps there. _

_So emergency over, and we're driving home—Ron and I smell of vomit and booze, which is not a fun combination. Ann's in the back seat, and the first thing I ask is: Did David know? _

_Nope—he was doing something or other with one of the Tweebs, which meant that the universe could have come to an end and he wouldn't have noticed. They both assumed that Ann would stay in the library…like she said she would._

_So Ron casually breaks in and mentions: So Ann lied to Uncle Tim and her brother, as well as her parents? He isn't smiling, and I see Ann's face get even paler, if possible. _

_Oh yes, daughter of mine—it takes a lot to wipe a smile off of Ron's face, but you **have** achieved that. It also means that the normal moderating influence on Shego isn't there right now. I wonder if she realizes how badly she managed to scare her parents. _

_The rest of the trip passes in silence and when we get home, I tell Ann to go to her room. _

_She didn't expect that. I tell her we'll decide what to do in the morning. _

_Uh-huh—your punishment starts now, kid, trying to guess what is so horrible your parents are going to wait until morning to announce it.

* * *

_

_Now your parents have to do something else. Wade uses his spysat net to find what I expect—a small heat source in the woods by the party house—a still. Ron and I leave—Ann isn't going to be coming out of her room, and this is important. _

_So when a pair of sweating seniors show up to start breaking it down, they blink as they see Ron and I sitting by their still. _

_I give them the bad news—some of their friends are spending the night in the hospital. If we (I'm not going to rat out Ann), hadn't happened by, some of them might be spending the night in the morgue. _

_If the cops have to find out who did it, it will go very, very badly, and make no mistake, they will find out. It might take a while, but they will. _

_If the guilty parties were to turn themselves in, confess they built this thing from plans off the internet, and were generally dumber than bricks, not malicious… well then I could see them getting off with community service, a ton of detentions at school—possibly a suspension from some school activities for a month or so._

_Instead of the very good chance of actual jail time or at the very least, expulsion, if people have to go looking for them. _

_Now they look terrified. I know why—one has a scholarship to MIT which right now may be going down the tubes and the other has a dad who is a local Pastor. _

_They nod, jerkily. _

_I tell them to help us take this beast apart, and we'll load it into the van and take it in right now. While they're doing that, I call Kim and let her know the situation. She frowns and gets annoyed at Ann's little stunt, but I'm asking her to call in a few of her favors to make certain the two kids don't get hammered. Nobody died, they've been scared out of a few years growth, and I see no reason to have a public lynching over this. Yeah, they made the booze, but nobody was forcing the others to drink it. _

_She agrees. _

_So we drop them off at the station and drive on back home. We're silent. _

_Now what do we do about our dear daughter…_

_To be continued._


	13. Chapter XIII

_Hmmm… What to do. _

_Well, we spend a good chunk of the night up thinking about that. Ron's over his P'Od and back to thinking how to get her out of trouble. _

_Mama Shego ain't. If she gets off too easily, then the only lesson that will stick is she lied to all concerned and didn't pay for it. _

_Not a good idea. _

_On the other hand, Ron's right, this isn't anything we didn't do, she did call us when it counted and Kim's parents were **way** too anal with that entire months grounding. _

_And I hate the term grounding, anyway. _

_Well, the next morning, Ann's at the table, eating. Well pecking at her food, between terrified/why aren't you getting it over with looks. Ron and I finish our breakfast, wait until the rest of the kids are out of the room….and then ask Ann what shall we do?_

_I love that question. You see, it's beautiful, as the kid first thinks that she can get out for free, then realizes that if she says that she'll get in more trouble, then tries to figure a way to split the difference._

_Ummm…_

_Yes, the teen age code word for: you &(! Give me a minute to think!_

_We wait. She comes up with… a month of no dates and home restriction?_

_mmmm… Good try, Ann, but having you underfoot getting morose isn't something **I **want…so I give her my plan. _

_Well, our plan, since Ron came up with a few of the more… interesting aspects._

_She waits. _

_Well, first she gets to go apologize to Uncle Tim. She lied to him as well. Then she gets to apologize to her brother. She also gets to apologize to Aunt Kim and Aunt Bonnie, because they had to burn some favors over this. (they would have had to anyway…but hey, they might not have felt the need if Ann hadn't been involved). She bites her lip at that one. Ann still loves those two, especially Bonnie, and the idea of having to apologize to them and admit that she's screwed up… oh yeah, kid. _

_But as for punishment… We both smile at her, and tell her why **no…**__we're far too advanced for that… but she does need a little more work… like grouting Uncle Tim's bathroom… and helping Aunt Bonnie and Kim redo their yard, and by the way, the people where there was the party have a yard that needs to be fixed up… oh, not the main house—those kids are having their own problems…we're talking about the neighbors. _

_Grounding? Why **no!** Of course, given the amount of work everyone's though up, you won't be having any time to do anything for the next several weeks at best…and if, when you're in the sun, doing this, you consider that maybe lying to mom and dad wasn't the best of ideas… _

_Well, that's an added bonus, now, isn't it?_

_And it also may make Ann's life easier at school. She probably hasn't thought of it, but keeping her in the public eye working will make it hard for any rumors that mom's cutting her a break to get rooted. As it is, this Monday, people want me to have a big "no to booze" assembly. _

_Right… like that's ever done anything. The ones who aren't drinkers will wonder, and the ones who are drinkers will bask in their notoriety. _

_Nope. First thing I do is get on the phone and start calling, as well as sending out emails. Every parent needs to know that I am NOT accepting excuses for this Monday. Unless your kid is in the hospital, he shows up. Headache or not. Hung over or not. (Not that many should be that hung over after a full day). Teachers are not to cut any slack—any slack at all._

_Guess what kiddies, if I get boozed up, I'm still expected to show up to work on Monday—you are as well. If you desperately want to crawl under a rock at __12:00__, when you realize you still have hours to go, I'm doing my job._

_I also have to get more observation going—granted most of them will probably never drink like this again, but some will discover they like it—or at least like it better than living the way they are. So I want all the teachers to be on watch, as well as the counselors. Anyone starts to fall apart, we jump on it and get them in an intervention—a small group intervention so they can't hide in plain sight like they always do in a big assembly. _

_Don't worry Ann—you aren't the only one who's going to be putting in extra hours over this. Oh, that's right—I have to let Tim know that there is to be no technological help on this one—just the most primal combination of a girl, a bathroom and a lot of work grouting.

* * *

_

_Well, Ann handles it—very well I might add. Maybe the joy of missing the bullet is still living in her head, but she does the work, without complaint and as quickly as she can. _

_She's a good kid…just not boring. _

_Thank God. All our kids are, well… energetic. For all it can tire me and Ron out, I think we're both happy we didn't give birth to perfectly well behaved non-entities. _

_Oh, and David has cured my fear. Remember? The one about him maybe being a little too, ah, scholarly?_

_He has a girl friend. _

_Uh-huh, a sweet nice girl with bobbed hair—kinda looks like Velma from that old cartoon show with the dog. _

_A very cute Velma, with a figure you wouldn't believe, which has other guys wondering why they missed her. _

_Because you were all looking for the show off's, morons. David wasn't. He was also someone she liked—being that they share the same interests… math, science, mad science,Biology101 of each other… making out when mom and dad aren't around…_

_OK, he got that from Ron…I'd probably be looking for some of the show offs at his age—more correctly, I was _one_ of the show offs. _

_Ron's easier with that than he is with Ann's boyfriends. He's not…. Ok, he is. Ron's in that over protective daddy phase. I point out that's a sign of age. He frowns and points out he's not getting older, he's getting better. I wait until he's drinking to mention that Ann wants to spend the night with her newest boyfriend, Reginald. _

_He chokes. _

_Getting better, uhuh. Getting more paranoid, in my book._

_Of course, we're both getting older—you can tell that when your kids manage to completely confuse you._

_See, it's the new slang. _

_We can understand it. _

_Why?_

_Because for some reason beyond sanity, the thing to do today, is to have a slang that you now say everything literally as you intend it. "Cool" means, "below normal temperature" and nothing else. _

_Yeah, It's a slang devoted to being understandable…ok, well, some of the ways they have of saying things are still confusing, but it is weird._

_See what I mean about getting old? Of course, Ron and I have to try and imitate it to mortify our children. I'm even going to have a book printed with the cover title: Slang to English Dictionary, and make a production out of using it the next time Ann or David bring a SO home. _

_No need to thank me. It's one of the things parents do out of the love of their children.

* * *

_

_But Ann survives her little…punishment, as do the kids at school. Having Ann to thank for that as well, I guess—there isn't much more humiliating scene than being made to churf or "vomit forcefully" (as the current slang would say) by Shego and Ron—especially when you see her first thing in the morning at school. _

_Oh, by the way, for all you doubting Thomases…and Shego Stoppable in particular who got angry at Ron for telling her it, Ann _is_ a member of the cheerleading team, and will probably make captain next semester. _

_Just in time for mama Shego to face her greatest Challenge._

_Her fortieth birthday._

_To be concluded. _


	14. Chapter XIV

_Forty. _

_Wow. _

_No seriously, Wow. You talk about the fact that yeah, I can still attract a twenty year old's gaze, tramautize some girls at school when they find out that their boyfriends have a picture of me in the old skintight union suit—and **don't** wonder what happened to my looks when they see me walking down the corridor… So what's the big deal about forty?_

_Well. _

_Well, my daughter and son who are right now thinking about their first drivers licenses, I remember holding in my arms right after they were born. I remember days that seemed to speed by, and some days, especially a horrible few weeks that can still get me misty eyed, where Ron and I spent every waking minute in a hospital room. _

_I can remember a long time ago when the idea of a house, kids (to say nothing of six) and especially Ron Stoppable as my husband would have been a bad joke._

_Today I **can't **imagine being anywhere else, or wanting any other life. _

_That's what 15 years does to you. Forty…well it's something of a change. Maybe mom does look in the mirror a little more closely, and gets annoyed about the glasses a little more easily, but still, it's more the sense of a milestone rather than anything physical. _

_It's when you realize that—wow, this isn't just a little detour on the way from my normal life…this **is** my life. _

_And honestly, it's a nice life to have.

* * *

_

_So…on the glorious day, we have a party—Ron throws one for me, rather. It's sweet…and not at Bueno Nacho… which says to me that Kim had some input. She did. (I love Ron, and he's made the place a household name for fast food…but honestly, there are other places to eat.). _

_It's fun—mom gets lots of presents, including some she asked for, a strange beeping gadget from both the Tweebs, which is looked at happily…and then goes back down until I can figure out exactly what it does. The kids give their gifts—David and Ann with their presents, Claire and Sharon with theirs and Shiela and Michael with a pair of presents that daddy helped select…and something they made for me themselves. That last is a keeper, because this is the first year they're really old enough to do that. It's a painting of our house and family. _

_Oh yeah, it's a keeper. _

_Even if Ron does look like a red and blue aomeba in it. _

_Hego and the others give their presents. Yes, they're a part of the family. I'm…happy that none of my children exhibit any comet powers beyond being healthy and able to stay up longer than others. It insures that Hego and I won't have terrible arguments over their future career…on the other hand he hasn't mentioned anything like that since Ann was hurt, so maybe he understands why I wouldn't want them to do the hero thing. _

_At least partially. I'm not going to try to explain the other to him. He wouldn't understand, and it would just cause problems. Of all of us, in some respects, Hego has changed—has grown—the least. He's still the main character in his own comic book, still the hero. _

_Well, if he enjoys it. _

_Kim's somehow mutated from my arch foe to one of my closest friends, no doubt at least partially because of Ron…but she and I do have a lot more in common then I'd have believed. _

_OK, so we're both Type A personalities that sometimes need someone to calm us down. At least _I_ didn't traumatize a kid's soccer team. _

_I also don't have a movie coming out, like Kim—remember her mystery writing? Well __Hollywood__ picked up one of her novels, and it's looking like a sure thing for best picture. She's still doing the "mysterious writer" thing, but hey, do you know **how** much she's getting in royalties? She could quite her reporters job and Bonnie could quit her hospital job… granted, they'd both go batshit insane in about three weeks, but they could. Just like Ron and I could, but we're all **way** to young to be doing the retired thing. _

_We have fun. I get the obligatory "happy birthday" song, and Ron gives me the lecherous look and whispers that he'll save the spanking for later… I promise to hold him to it. He did snap me in the ass with a towel this morning. _

_It's a good, full day, and I have to admit, one that I'll remember for a long time.

* * *

_

_Then we get home and well, after the spanking (and other birthday events that you don't need to hear about), we go to bed—tomorrow is still a work day, and the state has decided we need to have "work ethic assemblies." Yep, I get to waste half the morning telling the students why it's bad to waste time. _

_Well, I guess useless assemblies are a bit of a high school tradition._

_But when we go to sleep I have a…dream, one that's been reoccurring a bit, only this time it's much more dramatic and detailed._

_Middleton is Shegoton…and Kim and all her friends have long since fallen…turned to my side, given up, or locked in deep cells. Nobody dares contradict me, and in fact not many people would even think of it. I rule everything from my citadel of Doom…and I have ten bedrooms, which I sleep in._

_Alone. _

_And never twice in a row—because I know that all my "loyal" subjects would like nothing more than to see me dead. I have no husband, no children, and more power than I know what to do with._

_So why in the dream am I wondering those empty corridors, like a green and black ghost, desperately looking for something. Why do I have twin strips of white in my hair… why, when I'm finished mocking and laughing and after I've thrown the last flunky out of my chambers, do I look so haunted. _

_This Shego got everything she wanted…didn't she._

_**Didn't she?**_

_And if it's just a dream, why am I up at __3:00 AM__, in my gown, looking through the photo albums. I think about the dream, and do something I haven't done for many years. Used to, Dr. D and, I had a game We'd play—how fast can you get what you need and leave? It was pretty easy—a change of clothes, some cash, and I could be gone._

_I try playing it again in my head and realize that things have changed. What could I leave? Hell, clothes—easy. Kids' pictures, no way… the little precious doll that Ann got when she was 4 and still keeps on a shelf in her room? Not even. I realize that if I had a full day, and both cars… I might be able to get started. _

_On the vital stuff. Buying stuff isn't a problem, but there are so many things in this house that resonate with memories, good and bad, that I just cannot imagine losing. As for walking away from the people…_

_No. That thought doesn't even get started. _

_So suddenly I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders and look back over at my husband. He grins and ask me if it was the dream again._

_I try and snark and ask what dream. _

_He mentions that it must be important, because it's the first dream he can recall where I talked in my sleep._

_Busted. _

_I nod. He grins and sits down by me, pulling me close._

_Maybe… Ron says, Shego is just looking for what I have. _

_I think about it, remembering those endless green and black halls, without a single picture, the citadel with no mess no sign of anything out of place, a refuge, not a home. _

_How could anyone live like that? I shiver when I realize how close I came **to** living like that. If Ron had chickened out of his dare, or chosen another bar, or I had left five minutes before…_

_But he's here with me. My children are asleep in this house… My house. _

_My home. _

_Then Ron pulls me to my feet and leads me through the quiet house, out back. There's a small table, with a candle, and a drink, and a player with a soft song playing. _

_He grins, and asks me if I know what a good dancer I am, and how much he enjoys dancing. _

_I softly laugh, and tell him that he's not to shabby himself…after I cured him of stepping on my toes. We both laugh and pause. He's thinking about the same thing I am, all the time we've spent together, all the time that we will spend together…but there's no garuntees to that, so don't waste a moment thinking you'll make it up tomorrow. _

_Then we swing into the music, and quietly, my head leaning into his shoulder, dance under the diamond stars overlooking our home and family._

_Shego Stoppable, 2021._

_End. _


End file.
